Wish there was more in the mainstream media, don't you?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Life away from my BPD has provided me with a tranquility I forget could even be possible.  That tranquility allows for extra time browsing cable tv channels.  There's a great series called "Addiction" and another older one I'm catching up on called "In Treatment".  A recent series even debuted highlighting a character with bipolar disorder called "Black Box".  Not sure if it was cancelled.

As I channel surf and heal, I can't help but wish the mainstream media would find a way to shine appropriate light on this distinct disorder.  I'm tempted to find a way to try to pitch the idea in the near future.  There would undoubtedly be extreme mixed reactions.  I know there are celebrities and high functioning BPDs throughout society.  The more I read, the more I realize this disorder extends even farther beyond the realm of "taboo" that's been traditionally associated with mental illness.  BPD is simply TERRIFYING and someone, somewhere, someday has got to start calling attention to it because the suffering and devastation for those of us who have tried to love the BPDs is something truly worth sharing with the world. 

[Hope0807]

Life away from my BPD has provided me with a tranquility I forget could even be possible.  That tranquility allows for extra time browsing cable tv channels.  There's a great series called "Addiction" and another older one I'm catching up on called "In Treatment".  A recent series even debuted highlighting a character with bipolar disorder called "Black Box".  Not sure if it was cancelled.

As I channel surf and heal, I can't help but wish the mainstream media would find a way to shine appropriate light on this distinct disorder.  I'm tempted to find a way to try to pitch the idea in the near future.  There would undoubtedly be extreme mixed reactions.  I know there are celebrities and high functioning BPDs throughout society.  The more I read, the more I realize this disorder extends even farther beyond the realm of "taboo" that's been traditionally associated with mental illness.  BPD is simply TERRIFYING and someone, somewhere, someday has got to start calling attention to it because the suffering and devastation for those of us who have tried to love the BPDs is something truly worth sharing with the world. 

[hergestridge]

I'm not sure that this is a good idea. Exposing a mental illness in mainstream media often leads to self-diagnosis and prejudice. In the case of BPD - which can be seen in itself as a rather unflattering way to describe a person - it can at worst turn into a withchunt.

I think the discussion of individual diagnoses is best left to helth professionals tbh. What mainstream media can do is to raise awareness around mental illness in general, that it is always a good idea to seek help. And there is always a limit for what you as a family member should put up with (i e boundaries) when someone is behaving out of the ordinary.

I think dr Phil actually did a pretty good job there.

[Caredverymuch]

Life away from my BPD has provided me with a tranquility I forget could even be possible.  That tranquility allows for extra time browsing cable tv channels.  There's a great series called "Addiction" and another older one I'm catching up on called "In Treatment".  A recent series even debuted highlighting a character with bipolar disorder called "Black Box".  Not sure if it was cancelled.

As I channel surf and heal, I can't help but wish the mainstream media would find a way to shine appropriate light on this distinct disorder.  I'm tempted to find a way to try to pitch the idea in the near future.  There would undoubtedly be extreme mixed reactions.  I know there are celebrities and high functioning BPDs throughout society.  The more I read, the more I realize this disorder extends even farther beyond the realm of "taboo" that's been traditionally associated with mental illness.  BPD is simply TERRIFYING and someone, somewhere, someday has got to start calling attention to it because the suffering and devastation for those of us who have tried to love the BPDs is something truly worth sharing with the world. 

I whole heartedly agree and have been saying this here for a while.  There is far too little out there on this and the devastating effects.  I, too, have been thinking about pitching the need. There are 7,000 members here. Thats the pollution of a state.  Where's the rest?  I absolutely feel this is not as mainstream as it should be. 

[Hope0807]

I can understand where you're coming from and completely respect your thoughts for sure.

I'm not sure that this is a good idea. Exposing a mental illness in mainstream media often leads to self-diagnosis and prejudice. In the case of BPD - which can be seen in itself as a rather unflattering way to describe a person - it can at worst turn into a withchunt.

I think the discussion of individual diagnoses is best left to helth professionals tbh. What mainstream media can do is to raise awareness around mental illness in general, that it is always a good idea to seek help. And there is always a limit for what you as a family member should put up with (i e boundaries) when someone is behaving out of the ordinary.

I think dr Phil actually did a pretty good job there.

[Hope0807]

Agreed.  In my opinion, anything can be brought to the forefront if it's presented in the best way possible.  Anything.  With that said, I'm also keenly aware that it is impossible to make everyone happy.  So look at it this way:  Things that 'should be left to the professionals' have eventually found their place within the media with Dr. Drew, Dr. Phil and the list goes on and on.  If they've found an informative way to expose "My Strange Addiction" and the like - I don't see why all this pain should be kept as a secret society.  People who have been diagnosed and want the help would undoubtedly have a voice and face to connect to in a way like never before.  Family members and loved ones hoping to cope and help their BPD survive could feel like the heavens have opened.  When there is exposure that may hurt some - inevitably masses are united in FAITH and HOPE. 

Life away from my BPD has provided me with a tranquility I forget could even be possible.  That tranquility allows for extra time browsing cable tv channels.  There's a great series called "Addiction" and another older one I'm catching up on called "In Treatment".  A recent series even debuted highlighting a character with bipolar disorder called "Black Box".  Not sure if it was cancelled.

As I channel surf and heal, I can't help but wish the mainstream media would find a way to shine appropriate light on this distinct disorder.  I'm tempted to find a way to try to pitch the idea in the near future.  There would undoubtedly be extreme mixed reactions.  I know there are celebrities and high functioning BPDs throughout society.  The more I read, the more I realize this disorder extends even farther beyond the realm of "taboo" that's been traditionally associated with mental illness.  BPD is simply TERRIFYING and someone, somewhere, someday has got to start calling attention to it because the suffering and devastation for those of us who have tried to love the BPDs is something truly worth sharing with the world. 

I whole heartedly agree and have been saying this here for a while.  There is far too little out there on this and the devastating effects.  I, too, have been thinking about pitching the need. There are 7,000 members here. Thats the pollution of a state.  Where's the rest?  I absolutely feel this is not as mainstream as it should be. 

[StayOrLeave15]

The thing about BPD is you really don't understand it until you are in close contact with someone who has it.  I remember a friend mentioning his mom was likely BPD but I just brushed it off as her being a bit eccentric and emotional - had no idea about the gravity of the disorder.  

I'm really torn here.  On one hand, I wish people were more aware of it.  As with many of you, I found out about it first hand through my uBPDxgf when I started googling some of her bizarre behaviors and I found these incredibly supportive boards.  On the other, I agree with hergestridge about self-diagnosis.  However, the more I think about it, the more I feel people should be more aware.  When I told my friend, "I think my girlfriend has borderline personality disorder," he said, "What does that mean? She's sort of a boring girl?"  If only... .

It really is a devastating disorder, and as much pain as the pwBPD must go through on a daily basis with unregulated emotions, their loved ones feel so much pain thanks to them.  The worst part about my uBPDxgf is that she was very good at projecting an image of having everything under control in public and social situations, but at home behind closed doors she was absolutely terrifying and inflicted serious psychological and emotional pain on me.  

By the way, another show that mentions BPD is The Sopranos.  At some point in the first season it is said that Tony's mother likely has borderline personality disorder.  In the program she exhibits many signs of it, but I also feel like they downplayed the disorder a bit making her seem like just a lonely, cranky old lady.  

[drummerboy]

I have this fantasy that a writer interviews survivors of BPD relationships and the book becomes a best seller and the illness is all over the media. In my darker moments I wish every BPD had a tattoo on their forehead saying ":)o not get into a relationship with me"

[Hope0807]

Baule,

This made me smile, thank you!  I share your fantasy big time, and those darker moments are exactly my own as well!

I have this fantasy that a writer interviews survivors of BPD relationships and the book becomes a best seller and the illness is all over the media. In my darker moments I wish every BPD had a tattoo on their forehead saying ":)o not get into a relationship with me"

StayOrLeave15,

What you mentioned, "you really don't understand it until you are in close contact with someone who has it…" is precisely why it is so uniquely devastating and so in need of a platform larger than this.  So many causes in this world would never have been on the radar if not for celebrity involvement.  I read about Robin Williams' depression many, many years ago.  People were shocked to learn of it with his recent passing…and a hugely necessary conversation started to take shape. 

I have lots of ideas about how they can cover this topic in the media, but to start, it should definitely be presented from all sides to be fair.  The reality is this:  far more than the published statistics are suffering because they shun treatment and are difficult to treat once they get there.  The entire course of my own life would have been different if I had known earlier than my own mother suffered from BPD…but instead at 40, I'm healing from realizing I went from a BPD mother to a BPD husband.  If it's presented right, it may save lives and change courses in positive directions beyond our wildest dreams.

The thing about BPD is you really don't understand it until you are in close contact with someone who has it.  I remember a friend mentioning his mom was likely BPD but I just brushed it off as her being a bit eccentric and emotional - had no idea about the gravity of the disorder. 

I'm really torn here.  On one hand, I wish people were more aware of it.  As with many of you, I found out about it first hand through my uBPDxgf when I started googling some of her bizarre behaviors and I found these incredibly supportive boards.  On the other, I agree with hergestridge about self-diagnosis.  However, the more I think about it, the more I feel people should be more aware.  When I told my friend, "I think my girlfriend has borderline personality disorder," he said, "What does that mean? She's sort of a boring girl?"  If only... .

It really is a devastating disorder, and as much pain as the pwBPD must go through on a daily basis with unregulated emotions, their loved ones feel so much pain thanks to them.  The worst part about my uBPDxgf is that she was very good at projecting an image of having everything under control in public and social situations, but at home behind closed doors she was absolutely terrifying and inflicted serious psychological and emotional pain on me. 

By the way, another show that mentions BPD is The Sopranos.  At some point in the first season it is said that Tony's mother likely has borderline personality disorder.  In the program she exhibits many signs of it, but I also feel like they downplayed the disorder a bit making her seem like just a lonely, cranky old lady. 

[camuse]

I feel for the folks who experience it without every knowing what it was.

My friend (female) spent 2 years in therapy trying to work out what happened to her relationship. I showed her a page on BPD and she understood instantly.

I met a guy the other night who told me of a friend who was left suddenly by his gilrfriend and never dared have a relationship again. As he told me about it, it was clear there were signs of BPD.

If it wasn't for the internet, I dread to think how I would have come to any understanding.

[Hope0807]

And... .I bet there isn't a single survivor of a BPD relationship on here that WOULDN'T be willing to share their story…anonymously of course.  :)eep, deep beyond the pain, I believe what we all share is a profound sense self-preservation that has surfaced, and buried within that is our own shame, guilt, fear, and utter devastation over what took place that ONLY WE were witness to and victims of.  The NIMH fought long and hard to get BPD noticed at Congress.  I'm definitely on-board for this to go more public.  I will SO celebrate the day.  Right now it's all regarded as way too much of a "lost cause" and as long as the disordered are regarded as such…so will the suffering of those who love them continue.  All of us on this L3 board and those who suffer in silence and have no idea this forum even exists deserve so much better.

[StayOrLeave15]

Devastating indeed.  My friends and family saw literally watched my sob while my ex was psychologically torturing me but I don't think it is possible for them to completely understand.  I have never felt so much pain as with this girl and would be completely willing to share my story anywhere.

Hope, I agree that it must be presented correctly.  But the difficult part about this disorder is that it is hard to realize it until you are in too deep.  In a romantic relationship you're floating along on a pink cloud and then you get painted black and are left so confused. 

I wonder how my next relationship will go.  I think unfortunately this one left me a bit jaded and cynical about females and I'm going to have a pretty high guard up.  I'm taking the next few months to recover and work on myself but once I get back out there I feel I'll have a different view than I did before.  I hope that doesn't lead to me avoiding a girl who I could have otherwise had a good relationship with because of the fear of getting hurt again...

[Hope0807]

My lens is forever changed as well.  I'm also very concerned about slighting an otherwise great guy with my BPD-radar at attention.  Before meeting my ex I briefly dated and recognized a classic narcissist.  I ran like hell and never looked back.  I even joked about it when meeting my husband, thinking he was the most together person I'd ever come across.  Holy crap was I wrong!  The ACTING is unbelievable.  It's when their mask comes off, projection and all chaos starts to let loose that our universe shifts and NO ONE KNOWS.  For traumas of all kinds, stories have been told in the media.  There are many creative ways to get this stuff out in the open.  Knowledge is power.  Ours has been stripped.

Devastating indeed.  My friends and family saw literally watched my sob while my ex was psychologically torturing me but I don't think it is possible for them to completely understand.  I have never felt so much pain as with this girl and would be completely willing to share my story anywhere.

Hope, I agree that it must be presented correctly.  But the difficult part about this disorder is that it is hard to realize it until you are in too deep.  In a romantic relationship you're floating along on a pink cloud and then you get painted black and are left so confused. 

I wonder how my next relationship will go.  I think unfortunately this one left me a bit jaded and cynical about females and I'm going to have a pretty high guard up.  I'm taking the next few months to recover and work on myself but once I get back out there I feel I'll have a different view than I did before.  I hope that doesn't lead to me avoiding a girl who I could have otherwise had a good relationship with because of the fear of getting hurt again...

[Caredverymuch]

Baule,

This made me smile, thank you!  I share your fantasy big time, and those darker moments are exactly my own as well!

I have this fantasy that a writer interviews survivors of BPD relationships and the book becomes a best seller and the illness is all over the media. In my darker moments I wish every BPD had a tattoo on their forehead saying ":)o not get into a relationship with me"

StayOrLeave15,

What you mentioned, "you really don't understand it until you are in close contact with someone who has it…" is precisely why it is so uniquely devastating and so in need of a platform larger than this.  So many causes in this world would never have been on the radar if not for celebrity involvement.  I read about Robin Williams' depression many, many years ago.  People were shocked to learn of it with his recent passing…and a hugely necessary conversation started to take shape. 

I have lots of ideas about how they can cover this topic in the media, but to start, it should definitely be presented from all sides to be fair.  The reality is this:  far more than the published statistics are suffering because they shun treatment and are difficult to treat once they get there.  The entire course of my own life would have been different if I had known earlier than my own mother suffered from BPD…but instead at 40, I'm healing from realizing I went from a BPD mother to a BPD husband.  If it's presented right, it may save lives and change courses in positive directions beyond our wildest dreams.

The thing about BPD is you really don't understand it until you are in close contact with someone who has it.  I remember a friend mentioning his mom was likely BPD but I just brushed it off as her being a bit eccentric and emotional - had no idea about the gravity of the disorder. 

I'm really torn here.  On one hand, I wish people were more aware of it.  As with many of you, I found out about it first hand through my uBPDxgf when I started googling some of her bizarre behaviors and I found these incredibly supportive boards.  On the other, I agree with hergestridge about self-diagnosis.  However, the more I think about it, the more I feel people should be more aware.  When I told my friend, "I think my girlfriend has borderline personality disorder," he said, "What does that mean? She's sort of a boring girl?"  If only... .

It really is a devastating disorder, and as much pain as the pwBPD must go through on a daily basis with unregulated emotions, their loved ones feel so much pain thanks to them.  The worst part about my uBPDxgf is that she was very good at projecting an image of having everything under control in public and social situations, but at home behind closed doors she was absolutely terrifying and inflicted serious psychological and emotional pain on me. 

By the way, another show that mentions BPD is The Sopranos.  At some point in the first season it is said that Tony's mother likely has borderline personality disorder.  In the program she exhibits many signs of it, but I also feel like they downplayed the disorder a bit making her seem like just a lonely, cranky old lady. 

Well stated. When Robin Williams passed away, I actually wondered if he were BPD. Perhaps he was, but despite, I thought if indeed he was BPD and it was acknowledged publically, here might be one chance to get the word out. Unfortunately, society mostly pays attention when a celebrity brings something to light. 

[BuildingFromScratch]

While I agree that there needs to be more awareness. I think the stigma already attached to the disorder keeps people from getting help. Would you want to be considered an evil lost cause? No, and either do they. We need more awareness and sympathy for borderlines and their victims. Also, as someone else stated, it's hard to believe and understand until you've lived it.

[Caredverymuch]

Devastating indeed.  My friends and family saw literally watched my sob while my ex was psychologically torturing me but I don't think it is possible for them to completely understand.  I have never felt so much pain as with this girl and would be completely willing to share my story anywhere.

Hope, I agree that it must be presented correctly.  But the difficult part about this disorder is that it is hard to realize it until you are in too deep.  In a romantic relationship you're floating along on a pink cloud and then you get painted black and are left so confused. 

I wonder how my next relationship will go.  I think unfortunately this one left me a bit jaded and cynical about females and I'm going to have a pretty high guard up.  I'm taking the next few months to recover and work on myself but once I get back out there I feel I'll have a different view than I did before.  I hope that doesn't lead to me avoiding a girl who I could have otherwise had a good relationship with because of the fear of getting hurt again...

My family and friends watched me sob and nearly have a nervous breakdown. In complete confusion they watched having never seen me like that before. I HAD NEVER SEEN ME LIKE THAT BEFORE.  They just were bewildered and kept saying the things most ppl who have never experienced a BPD r/s say.

"Why are you having such a hard time getting over this person?  You have so much more in life than this person. You always have. We are so worried about you. This is not the you we know."

I am a healthcare professional.  I HAD NO IDEA ABOUT BPD.  What does that say about the lack of exposure on this disorder.

My best friend actually called a therapist having me clasp at her door one morning after the umptenth push/pull split black out of no where --following a clinging desperate pull of pleas by him the days prior in which I had given over yet more of my emotionally almost spent self to this disordered chaos. He was a waif BPD and emotionally a complete roller coaster of desperate clinging, and then horrific devaluation and splits. Almost daily toward the latter part of our r/s, truly. I was a nervous wreck trying to play keep up to the constantness of this that I had no idea what to even call it yet how to correct it. THere was no way I could walk away, I was in SO deep by then. ALL the way down the hole and into the BPD vortex of confusion and pain. The intense love bombing, the intense emotions, the intense interactions, the intense pulling in, the intense devaluation and push aways, the intense cruelty, followed by even more intense projections. Then, as if none of it happened.

And he was fully functioning publicly in a leadership position. Admired, adored, larger than life. NO ONE saw this side of this man but me.  Why they could not understand how undone I was.

Was losing my mind.

I just showed up at her door and clasped on her couch. Could barely walk. Barely talk. Just catatonic and sobbing and shaking. She called a hotline and asked what she should do.  That she's known me for decades and has never seen me this way. What is happening to my best friend.

Everyone reading this understands what was happening to me. 

You guys are the only ones.

MUCH more attention needs to be shed on this disorder.

I would go on national tv and tell my entire story if it could help ANYONE to not endure what I endured.

Yes, we do have a core wound that drew us to this toxic bond.  This we know.  But, most of us have had a core wound and functioned just fine until this interaction.

I know I did.

My life is forever changed now.

[myself]

I agree, there could be much more public light on this.

Everyone here can dump a bucket of whatever on my head if it will help find a cure for this. Set up a telethon. Hold a raffle. Something. Change it from a whispered ghost story to acknowledged fact.

That said, you could have had cameras on us 24/7, broadcasting it on its own channel like a reality TV show, and those just viewing it would still never fully understand it. I don't, and I was there.

[hergestridge]

What I find more worrying than the lack of exposure in the media is the reluctance/unwillingness/whateveritiss from health professionals to set the BPD diagnosis. They had regular contact with my wife for over ten years before they even considered doing the screenings, and sure as hell it turned out she had BPD. They had her in therapy on a regular basis, they *must* have realised.

Worst case scenario, which a couple of people who treated her hinted at along the way, is that they didn't bother doing the tests because "these are just a label".

There was absolutely no respect for me or my situation. I was trying to lead a life and start a family with someone who was acting normal one day and was out of control the next. What was wrong with her? Was it going to get better? What's the prognosis?

What should I do?

[Blimblam]

I wish the focus would be on the behavior it's self the nature of the evolution of abusive relationships. I wish their was more of a focus on emotionally abusive relationships and that women can be abusers also. I always hear the stories of women being physically abused.  It is always the classic story and never a focus on the psychological nature of it. Also if there was a focus on how to deal with the victim/ survivors and how to talk with us it would be a lot more helpfull. Not one single person I have encountered in my everyday life has been sympathetic at all.

The. Closest I have seen is the campaign against bullying which tends to be focused on youth. I really feel the stigmatization on of male victims of emotional abuse is a huge problem. Especially the lack of awareness of the nature of emotional abuse and how it actually affects the recipient. I really feel labeling it as abuse would provide the type if frame that could go mainstream without stigmatizing the disorder.

Abuse happens everyday and it is not recognized as abuse it has become an acceptable part of the culture In this country which is sad. I think it is because it would cause so much of the population to reevaluate themselves that it would be highly controversial.

[slimmiller]

I think its a matter of time until society as a whole and especially the health care profession becomes more aware of this disorder.  Which is good and bad.

Good because victims will finally not be so alone and bad because many BPDs will use it as a cop out and using the disorder as an excuse to treat others like crap (as they already do)

If we take a look back over the last century, at what point did anyone ever really start talking about depression? Its fairly new in being accepted. Even 50 years ago I am sure there was much more reaction to someone that was depressed. It was swept under the rug much like BPD is today. Now if one is depressed they go to counseling and theres very little stigma with anti-depression meds.

Hopefully the understanding of BPD will also evolve into something that provide help for both sufferers and victims

[plumlee]

I feel for the folks who experience it without every knowing what it was.

My friend (female) spent 2 years in therapy trying to work out what happened to her relationship. I showed her a page on BPD and she understood instantly.

I met a guy the other night who told me of a friend who was left suddenly by his gilrfriend and never dared have a relationship again. As he told me about it, it was clear there were signs of BPD.

If it wasn't for the internet, I dread to think how I would have come to any understanding.

Exactly the same for me. I (finally) recognized some sense that that there could be a problem, googled 'is it right to divorce a mentally ill wife' and rather quickly found bpdfamily and thousands living through something which was IMMEDIATELY identifiable. I am old enough to remember "Sybil" the 1976 movie starring Sally Fields about Multiple Personality Disorder. Of course it isn't nearly as common and the story was rather lurid.

I wholeheartedly agree that stories about BPD need to be told so that it becomes as well known as possible. When I told my attorney today he immediately recognized what it was, simply because he handles over and over cases of divorce over this.

[Hope0807]

Caredverymuch,

I cried reading much of what you wrote here.  Yes, we all come from a place that is so incredibly confusing, dark and maddening.  Here we find each other and our stories are all the same.  It's almost unbearable to accept the reality of what we've actually been through.  If someone would put me in front of a director or producer, by the end of the work day I have no doubt I would have an entire format and script for a series on BPD. 

Devastating indeed.  My friends and family saw literally watched my sob while my ex was psychologically torturing me but I don't think it is possible for them to completely understand.  I have never felt so much pain as with this girl and would be completely willing to share my story anywhere.

Hope, I agree that it must be presented correctly.  But the difficult part about this disorder is that it is hard to realize it until you are in too deep.  In a romantic relationship you're floating along on a pink cloud and then you get painted black and are left so confused. 

I wonder how my next relationship will go.  I think unfortunately this one left me a bit jaded and cynical about females and I'm going to have a pretty high guard up.  I'm taking the next few months to recover and work on myself but once I get back out there I feel I'll have a different view than I did before.  I hope that doesn't lead to me avoiding a girl who I could have otherwise had a good relationship with because of the fear of getting hurt again...

My family and friends watched me sob and nearly have a nervous breakdown. In complete confusion they watched having never seen me like that before. I HAD NEVER SEEN ME LIKE THAT BEFORE.  They just were bewildered and kept saying the things most ppl who have never experienced a BPD r/s say.

"Why are you having such a hard time getting over this person?  You have so much more in life than this person. You always have. We are so worried about you. This is not the you we know."

I am a healthcare professional.  I HAD NO IDEA ABOUT BPD.  What does that say about the lack of exposure on this disorder.

My best friend actually called a therapist having me clasp at her door one morning after the umptenth push/pull split black out of no where --following a clinging desperate pull of pleas by him the days prior in which I had given over yet more of my emotionally almost spent self to this disordered chaos. He was a waif BPD and emotionally a complete roller coaster of desperate clinging, and then horrific devaluation and splits. Almost daily toward the latter part of our r/s, truly. I was a nervous wreck trying to play keep up to the constantness of this that I had no idea what to even call it yet how to correct it. THere was no way I could walk away, I was in SO deep by then. ALL the way down the hole and into the BPD vortex of confusion and pain. The intense love bombing, the intense emotions, the intense interactions, the intense pulling in, the intense devaluation and push aways, the intense cruelty, followed by even more intense projections. Then, as if none of it happened.

And he was fully functioning publicly in a leadership position. Admired, adored, larger than life. NO ONE saw this side of this man but me.  Why they could not understand how undone I was.

Was losing my mind.

I just showed up at her door and clasped on her couch. Could barely walk. Barely talk. Just catatonic and sobbing and shaking. She called a hotline and asked what she should do.  That she's known me for decades and has never seen me this way. What is happening to my best friend.

Everyone reading this understands what was happening to me. 

You guys are the only ones.

MUCH more attention needs to be shed on this disorder.

I would go on national tv and tell my entire story if it could help ANYONE to not endure what I endured.

Yes, we do have a core wound that drew us to this toxic bond.  This we know.  But, most of us have had a core wound and functioned just fine until this interaction.

I know I did.

My life is forever changed now.

[enlighten me]

I saw this article and it screamed BPD to me. Will look forward to seeing the conclusion.

https://uk.yahoo.com/movies/steve-mcqueen-was-a-terrifying-and-dangerous-says-96077719826.html

[martymcfly5]

Life away from my BPD has provided me with a tranquility I forget could even be possible.  That tranquility allows for extra time browsing cable tv channels. 

I too seem like the breakup is getting a bit further in the rear view mirror, but I have my days. Just yesterday I was flipping through the Friday afternoon offerings on American cable and I came across the channel Investigation Discovery (IDTV) -- the show Wives with Knives was eye opening. A psych clinician mediates the show and a variety of PDs were evident with each story. After spending 2 months on this site and learning so much, I could INSTANTLY single out BPD tendencies, RED FLAGS, enmeshing, painting white and black, you name it.  After seeing back to back episodes, I gained even more closure and it gave me a perspective that I otherwise would NOT have seen -- my relationship was a platonic friendship and these stories were bf/gf and my heart goes out to all of you on here.