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Skills we were never taught
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Author Topic: Here is an odd one... or maybe not  (Read 359 times)
In Pain
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 88


« on: September 04, 2014, 01:30:25 AM »

Here is an odd situation.

With my ex BPD GF... .We used to talk dirty in bed, all good.

One time I said to her, as I had said many times in the past:

I love f---king you.

And then I said shortly after: I love you.

She immediately stopped and said to me this was very confusing to her, do not

say both sentences while we are having sex.

Please explain the confusion.

Thx
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waverider
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: married 8 yrs, together 16yrs
Posts: 7405


If YOU don't change, things will stay the same


« Reply #1 on: September 04, 2014, 04:06:10 AM »

One is role playing, the other isn't. You are disturbing the role play when you bring normality into it.
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formflier
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Gender: Male
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
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« Reply #2 on: September 04, 2014, 04:58:26 AM »

Here is an odd situation.

With my ex BPD GF... .We used to talk dirty in bed, all good.

One time I said to her, as I had said many times in the past:

I love f---king you.

And then I said shortly after: I love you.

She immediately stopped and said to me this was very confusing to her, do not

say both sentences while we are having sex.

Please explain the confusion.

Thx

Has she ever talked to you about the fantasies she is thinking about when you guys are having sex?

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In Pain
**
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 88


« Reply #3 on: September 04, 2014, 10:07:54 AM »

Thank you... .That makes sense.

Does that hold true for any girl... ., BPD and non-BPD ?

No, I never asked her what she was fantasizing about during sex.

I can only imagine !

I wish I had found this forum while we were still together. So helpful.

Thx
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waverider
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: married 8 yrs, together 16yrs
Posts: 7405


If YOU don't change, things will stay the same


« Reply #4 on: September 04, 2014, 09:48:23 PM »

Thank you... .That makes sense.

Does that hold true for any girl... ., BPD and non-BPD ?

Could be true for anyone.

pwBPD often compartmentalize thoughts more completely than others so being jerked from one train of thought to the other may be perceived harsher, and with a correspondingly greater chance of overreaction
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  Reality is shared and open to debate, feelings are individual and real
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