Overwhelmed

[Satori68]

It seems the harder I try to gain control of our lives the more things start to slip away from me. My Nerves need a rest, but the insanity doesn't stop.

I find it hard to manage myself as is. I just turned 24 and have only had to be responsible for myself. If I Didn't feel like doing laundry or dishes for a few days I was only affecting myself, now everything has to get done or I am under terrible scrutiny.

I need time to breathe, but every day I get up go to work and by the time get home I have just enough time to cook, clean, shower and go to bed and the whole cycle starts again. I can handle that, though. But it seems more and more often that as soon as I get home there is some chore or emergency that requires us both to go and take care of (honestly it's something I'm not needed for at all, doesn't need to even be done, or something that one of his friends would be better equipped to handle)

So in the midst of all of this, I do something ditsy. I leave the oven on, I forget to grab the keys, I leave the wet laundry in the washer and it starts to smell mildewy. All of which I can live with. But one little screw up seems to be the end of the world to him.  He acts like I purposely burnt the house down. Everything turns into such a big deal.

I try so hard to stay calm, but I am starting to lose it. I am having trouble setting up boundaries because he won't let me get a word in edgewise.

How am I supposed to express that I won't tolerate him yelling at me, or intimidating me by closing in on my personal space, or using the word stupid when we argue, or expecting me to do way more than any one person can handle.

I am crashing and burning right now and have been getting by with apathy and shutting everything out.

How is anyone able to take care of themselves and their needs and not get ran over by all the responsibilities?

Do any of you ever get a break?

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[formflier]

It seems the harder I try to gain control of our lives 

Whose lives?  Ours... .or yours?  Maybe a rephrase... .yours or his? 

  have only had to be responsible for myself. 

Who are you responsible for now?

some chore or emergency that requires us both to go 

Such as?

  I am having trouble setting up boundaries because he won't let me get a word in edgewise.

Help me understand how you need to get a word in edgewise to set up a boundary? 

How am I supposed to express that I won't tolerate him yelling at me, or intimidating me by closing in on my personal space, or using the word stupid when we argue, or expecting me to do way more than any one person can handle.

Now that is an excellent question!     Go check out the lessons and give your best shot at an answer.  I promise to come back and give you my full answer... .without asking any more questions!   

I am crashing and burning right now and have been getting by with apathy and shutting everything out.

Powerful insight... .you are already well on your way to making things much better... .because you can look inside yourself and do some powerful... .honest self evaluation.  What actions do you think you can take to help get yourself one step... .even a small step... closer to being healthier?

How is anyone able to take care of themselves and their needs and not get ran over by all the responsibilities?

By making the choice that being healthy is worth it... .worth making the choice and dealing with the consequences of that choice.  You are worth it!    We can help you figure out how to make better choices to take care of yourself.

Do any of you ever get a break?

Yes we do!