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Hawk Ridge
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Posts: 303
"Overcommunicating" with quiet borderline
«
on:
September 06, 2014, 03:07:15 PM »
I dated a "quiet" borderline who, throughout the relationship and after, accused me of ""overcommunicating." I'll be honest - I don't overcommunicate. When she would become silent, disrespectful, or withdrawn for a period of time, I would try to check it out. My style of communication is very nonthreatening and supportive, wishing to acknowledge and resolve and then move along. I come from a family where things were unresolved and it created a lot of separation as a result. When I asked my partner to just air it out, her response was accusatory, "you always overcommunicate" or "this just makes it worse." In the year and a half we were together, I tried to address things maybe 5 times yet whenever she was in the mode to flee, she would go back to this accusation. She left me for a rebound and I went into therapy to work through the emotional abuse. Realizing how this sounds, I continue to hope she'll someday wish to get back together but I need some tools, some understanding of this communication issue. Has anyone else been with a quiet borderline who resists working through situations constructively? What methods have worked? Suggestions or tools? Thank you
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Hawk Ridge
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Posts: 303
Re: "Overcommunicating" with quiet borderline
«
Reply #1 on:
September 06, 2014, 03:10:02 PM »
Oh, and one more question. For those of you who were with quiet high functioning borderlines, did they return or were you just cut out for good? She's called a few times, randomly so i feel she may be unhappy in her current relationship. Thank you
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