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Author Topic: "Overcommunicating" with quiet borderline  (Read 426 times)
Hawk Ridge
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« on: September 06, 2014, 03:07:15 PM »

I dated a "quiet" borderline who, throughout the relationship and after, accused me of ""overcommunicating."  I'll be honest - I don't overcommunicate.  When she would become silent, disrespectful, or withdrawn for a period of time, I would try to check it out.  My style of communication is very nonthreatening and supportive, wishing to acknowledge and resolve and then move along.  I come from a family where things were unresolved and it created a lot of separation as a result.  When I asked my partner to just air it out, her response was accusatory, "you always overcommunicate" or "this just makes it worse."  In the year and a half we were together, I tried to address things maybe 5 times yet whenever she was in the mode to flee, she would go back to this accusation.   She left me for a rebound and I went into therapy to work through the emotional abuse.  Realizing how this sounds, I continue to hope she'll someday wish to get back together but I need some tools, some understanding of this communication issue.  Has anyone else been with a quiet borderline who resists working through situations constructively?  What methods have worked?  Suggestions or tools?  Thank you
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Hawk Ridge
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Posts: 303



« Reply #1 on: September 06, 2014, 03:10:02 PM »

Oh, and one more question.  For those of you who were with quiet high functioning borderlines, did they return or were you just cut out for good?  She's called a few times, randomly so i feel she may be unhappy in her current relationship. Thank you
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