co-parenting with an abuser - link

[momtara]

www.healthyplace.com/blogs/verbalabuseinrelationships/2013/03/how-to-help-kids-yourself-coparenting-abuser/

[Cmjo]

Thats interesting thanks Momtara.

Good to read tonight when Im at home, they are not far away at exBPDs house. Im sad and miss the kids. Its S 11 bithrday tomorrow. Son is worried and anxious, his Dad hasnt organised a party, refused to buy a present saying he has no money, generally stomps around sulking, then an hour later can be Superdad. Wish I could be there when he wakes up on his birthday tomorrow. Want to ask exBPD if I can go to see my son tomorrow after school, but he wont talk to me, if I do go there will be a bad atmosphere. Its two years since I left and he is still holding me emotionally hostage.

But the kids are over the worst of it I think, they are growing and starting to realise maybe mummy did have a point when she left, but its not their business and they want to enjoy the superdad side of their Dad. And I am happy they love him.

[momtara]

Can you have your own little party for him?  You are a good mom, anyway!

[Cmjo]

Hi, in the end I sent a message asking if I could pick the kids up early evening and have them at my house for the evening, organised birthday cake and sushi, had friends round to play, so he was happy, then organised a big party for 10 friends on Saturday. He had a fabulous birthday and his Dad was completely uninvolved and thankfully nothing was ruined!

[momtara]

Funny - I just had a party for my kid and invited friends to the house and everyone had a great time.  exH was invited but did not come.