Is this another side of BPD?

[gentquality]

I realize something in my relationship with my GF.  We talk through out the day and all she ever talks about is what she's going to do, and what happened at work in extreme detail.  I've told her I do not want to discuss about work (I work in the same company as her and I just don't like hearing about work ALL the time) she gets really upset with me.  I do listen 99% of the time but that 1% of the time I just don't want to hear about work as I'm at work EVERYDAY.

I realize when I want to discuss something she just says ,"I see"  "oh haha"  "wow".  So the conversation dies very quickly.  But I have to sit there and listen to her go on and on about work for HOURS on end if not it means I don't care about her and I don't take interest in what she's interested in. 

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Marvis]

I realize something in my relationship with my GF.  We talk through out the day and all she ever talks about is what she's going to do, and what happened at work in extreme detail.  I've told her I do not want to discuss about work (I work in the same company as her and I just don't like hearing about work ALL the time) she gets really upset with me.  I do listen 99% of the time but that 1% of the time I just don't want to hear about work as I'm at work EVERYDAY.

I realize when I want to discuss something she just says ,"I see"  "oh haha"  "wow".  So the conversation dies very quickly.  But I have to sit there and listen to her go on and on about work for HOURS on end if not it means I don't care about her and I don't take interest in what she's interested in. 

Yeah, me too. The uBPDbf and I work for the same company,  same shift, same bosses, we are both heads of separate departments. If I have a crappy day at work, my venting is limited to 5 minutes MAX, it is then turned into a competition on how his day was worse. We can change subjects but it will always go back to work and how everyone is against him and they want him to fail. If I'm physically and emotionally drained from the work day I'm still expected to take care of his "basic needs" while he gets to relax. if I fail in one way or another my ___ is then handed to me. "You don't care about me. You never listen to my problems.  It's all your fault. " I'm exhausted, my brain doesn't work well when exhausted so I'm gonna forget things or mess up. It's unacceptable. 

[maxsterling]

That sounds very frustrating!  I think you will discover with pwBPD that they tend to move from obsession to obsession.  She may be into something for awhile, and that is all she wants to do or talk about.  It's like her mind is incapable of switching tasks.  And in time, she will find another obsession, and it's like the first one never existed.  Right now my fiancé switches between two obsessions - work, and getting married. She will obsess with one and not be able to stop herself until she has a breakdown.  Then she will obsess about the other.  Over the past month or two, I have not seen her spend time thinking about anything else. There's no relaxing and just watching TV, no breaks to exercise or socialize.  

I'm different (and I am sure you are, too).  When we get overloaded with one thing, our brain knows how to shut it off and take a break.  We have hobbies, we turn on a ball game, we go for a walk, we BS with a friend about nonsense, etc.  That's just seems to not be possible with a pwBPD. When it's the weekend, they want all of our attention.  They have nothing else.  If we are together, we should be working on or talking about our relationship.  In the past year, I can't think of many times where she has said "I want to do this, so I am going to go do it."

I think this is rooted in an underdeveloped sense of self.  PwBPD don't know who they are!  SO in the case of your girlfriend, work defines who she is - WORK AND YOU ARE HER IDENTITY.  She has nothing else.  

[gentquality]

Yes she is obssessed with work.  She gets angry when I goto the gym on saturday for an hour but it's ok for her to leave on saturday for hours to go meet a colleague so she can improve her skills for work.

I just ignore the entire situation and now and just move on.

[ColdEthyl]

My husband does this, and talks in circles if he's dysregulating. He will repeat the same thing over and over and over until he gets the response he's looking for. Sometimes I have no diea what that is, and I feel like I go into detective mode, trying decipher what he's saying vs what he's not saying.

I realize something in my relationship with my GF.  We talk through out the day and all she ever talks about is what she's going to do, and what happened at work in extreme detail.  I've told her I do not want to discuss about work (I work in the same company as her and I just don't like hearing about work ALL the time) she gets really upset with me.  I do listen 99% of the time but that 1% of the time I just don't want to hear about work as I'm at work EVERYDAY.

I realize when I want to discuss something she just says ,"I see"  "oh haha"  "wow".  So the conversation dies very quickly.  But I have to sit there and listen to her go on and on about work for HOURS on end if not it means I don't care about her and I don't take interest in what she's interested in.