Hypochondria and BPD?

[Mike_confused]

Anyone willing to share their thoughts:   does hypochondria commonly accompany BPD?

My BPD wife suffers from multiple illnesses that are difficult to diagnose or were self-diagnosed, to include:  lyme disease, behcet's disease, raynauds, rheumatoid arthritis, and sometimes lupis.   The only diagnosis she does have from an MD is behcet's which she doesn't buy - she believes she has all the others listed.  She also suffers from severe debilitating migranes every month.   She convinced her MD to remove her gall bladder due to her symptoms even in the absence of gall stones, and has had lower back surgery.  She routinely complains of severe neck pain but multiple spine specialists have found nothing (they suck I am told).  Also, let me not forget fibromyalgia.

To look at her she is the epitomy of health - my BPD wife is flat out gorgeous.   Before we married we hiked and climbed mountains.  Now, she claims she is incapable of anything.   She toys with the idea of SSI disability but has not acted on it likely due to, in my opinion, the fact that she knows she wont be approved since most of her maladies are in her head.

She is, of course, constantly at odds with all of her doctors at one time or another.  I cannot even begin to list the prescription meds she takes, and then stops taking.  Once of these meds made her downright psychotic and physically abusive toward me.

It is exhausting.  I am afraid that in the end my health will suffer because of her constant pain and sickness.  I feel as if this never ending procession of "illness" is to keep me in check, and to keep me on call for any and all of her needs.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this?

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[KMS]

She probably does have the fibromyalgia, which is a pain disorder.  Her pain is probably stress-related too (which is symptomatic of fibromyalgia).  I'm still learning about BPD, but one of the characteristics of it seems to be that they have a hard time with relieving stress in a healthy way and stress seems to be more intense to them (as are other emotions too).  My bf is the one with BPD, but I've had depression and anxiety all my life and I'm also super sensitive to stress.  I haven't gotten gotten a fibromyalgia diagnosis, but I'm pretty sure I have that.  My responses to pain (or just pressure) have always been abnormal.  I think your wife's desire is just to find out what's "wrong" with her so that it can be "fixed".  She wants her suffering to be over.  That doesn't make her crazy; it makes her human.

[KMS]

About SSI, if she has an official BPD diagnosis, she could be approved.  I get it for my depression.  Not suggesting you go that route, just saying.  Also, you mentioned she was "healthier" before you married.  People with BPD seem to be "unhealthier" in relationships because all of their emotions are even more intense than they usually are.

[Mike_confused]

I understand that some of her complaints of illnesses are genuine; I do not, however, believe that every illness on the list above is real.   I am uncertain as to whether she feels so bad that SOMETHING must be wrong, or rather such complaints are a grab for all the attention she can get.  She LOVES to tell people "I have health issues".  I hear that almost daily.

I strongly believe that her doctors look at any complaint of new pains with a suspicious eye.

[flowerpath]

If I were to tell my husband today that I have a sore throat (even if I don't), he will have a sore throat tomorrow.  If I were to tell him tomorrow that I think I have a stomach virus (even if I don't), he will have the stomach virus day after tomorrow.  Sad, but true, so when I actually do feel under the weather, I rarely tell him. 

[ColdEthyl]

Yep. Hypochondria and BPD seem to hold hands like lovers. BPD and paranoia are besties, too. I'm thinking paranoia feeds hypochondria, which feeds the BPD ideal that the world is out to get them.

[maxsterling]

There are many, many threads on this topic.  It seems to be common that BPD are always complaining about some kind of illness, or thinking they have this or that, wanting to see doctors, etc.

In the case of my fiancé, I don't think a day has gone by over the past year she has not complained about headaches, stomach/intestine distress, back or foot pain, or something else.  I'm sure some of it is genuine, some of it (by her own admission) is paranoia.

She's also been diagnosed fibromyalgia.  Interestingly, most of her friends seem to have been diagnosed with that as well, and most of her friends are also recovering addicts with mental health issues. 

I understand the minor pains.  I get those.  My stomach is almost always a little upset.  I have allergies, and itch most of the time.  But I don't do much complaining about it.  the alarming thing with her is that there always seems to be something.  And she extrapolates it to the worst case - abdominal pain and she is going through early menopause.  Foot pain and she needs her leg amputated. 

I think it is all about them not being comfortable with themselves.  Their emotional/mental turmoil must have a physical reason.  They are blaming the physical ailment and taking it to the extreme just like they blame us and take it to the extreme.  A back ache is the end of the world, and the reason their life stinks.  And us being 5 minutes late coming home from work is the source of all of their issues, and is ruining the relationship.

[Linda Maria]

Hi Mike - found your post very interesting.  I have an uBPDsis, who has been a hypochondriac for a long time, someone stepped on her foot and she thought it might be broken.  I said it was possible - go to A & E and get it x-rayed.  But no - she got a plastic boot from somewhere, the sort you put over a bandaged or plastered leg, and wore that for ages!  If I asked her over she would say she couldn't drive, but if there was somewhere she wanted to go, she would be able to drive mysteriously.  We went somewhere and she was in high heels!  The day before she was wearing this boot and using a crutch!  There have been loads of instances - a headache is a brain tumour and so on.  But the lengths your wife has gone to, involving doctors etc. makes me think of Munchausen syndrome.  Just a thought - I'm no expert in this.