Christian Discussion

[reluctanthusband]

Yeah that was what I was told too.  I was told by her aunt that she saw this coming with my wife because of all of the issues her mother and her brother had with each other.  I just hate having to wait it out for her to just burn her bridges or be upset that the 30-50 people she calls friends she doesn't have the time for to be real good friends.  I know this because I only have like 1 or 2 good friends that I could have a beer with but never have the time for because the family takes a lot of my time(given willingly).

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[formflier]

  On the other hand I have had the whole BPD playbook thrown at me about why I don’t follow her to her church.  I'm having an affair, I love a woman that is old enough to be my mother more than I love my wife, I'm weak, Unsaved and more everything you could think of. 

What would your life look like if you ignored the BPD playbook... .no reaction whatsoever? 

Hopefully you can detach a little... .so you can observe the playbook without being affected... .you are looking for things to validate... .

[reluctanthusband]

It would still look like a Christian husband and wife that don't serve or worship together and children confused as to why they don't see people they love and miss.  I detach a lot and most times I see it for what it is.  Like the last text fight where she accused me of lusting after a woman in church that just happens to be a T just because my church does on occasion send people to her.  I would say that when I have gone out of my way to do something for her and then she attacks my honor those are the times I snap.  Those have gotten less though as I have been catching myself in the moment and walking away.  I just hate this church separation thing it brings up bad memories.  And hearing what MaroonLiquid is going through doesn't make me feel any better(don't worry ML I'm not upset at you)

[MaroonLiquid]

No offense taken!  My wife and I are associate pastors so I know exactly how you feel.  I realize a lot now.  I pray and cover my wife and kids, but told her these are her decisions and she is responsible for them.  It's sad watching them mess things up and keep digging holes for themselves.  All the while her family thinks I'm having an affair, a wife beater with a horrible rage problem.    at least I can almost crack a smile over this.  Being out of the day to day for more than three months has given me some much needed perspective.

[formflier]

  My wife and I are associate pastors so I know exactly how you feel.  

Is your wife still an associate pastor? 

[MaroonLiquid]

  My wife and I are associate pastors so I know exactly how you feel.  

Is your wife still an associate pastor? 

Technically no because she stepped down during our first month of separation when it was almost like she blacked out

[reluctanthusband]

Maroon Im sorry.  That is definately harder being in that level of service

[MaroonLiquid]

Maroon Im sorry.  That is definately harder being in that level of service

I appreciate that!  I know the gifts and calling are without repentance, just trusting God wholly and completely for me, her and our children.  God is good and does amazing things all the time.