Is any communication possible?

[IsItHerOrIsItMe]

My uBPDw is uber-Christian.  I would have hoped that meant we could at least have conversations about religion.

We're taking a bible study class together, 34 week overview of the entire Bible.

We're doing the reading this morning, Leviticus where the rules for the Hebrews are laid out.  As Christians we believe we have a different covenant with God than Jewish people do, and I point out that when homosexuality is discussed I don't think quotes from the Christian Old Testament can be used since Christians are not bound by so many of the other laws.

Her first response is "So what, you want to go out and commit adultery?  You want to pick and choose what part of the bible to follow?"

I tried to point out that one of the next passages says don't wear clothes made from two different materials, which she is currently breaking, that doesn't mean she believes adultery is OK, but it's too late.  She's already off on one of her standard rants about 'men in general' and everything they do (not me in particular... .that's another thread... .)

Now I probably should have tried to determine her underlying feeling and validate it, but come on.  We're supposedly studying the bible together and is there really nothing that can be discussed that doesn't degenerate into massaging their ego?

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[maxsterling]

I feel your frustration here.  I don't think the subject at hand (religion) has anything to do with it.  I can't tell my fiancé anything about what goes on at work without her switching it over to how I need to get a different job that pays more money.  Actually, I can't have a conversation about almost anything without risk of it somehow turning into a discussion about money.  Sometimes I just need her to listen and not respond.  Maybe I need to try explaining that to her. 

It sours everything, doesn't it?  For me it creates this underlying feeling that I am her enemy and she must argue with and fight with any of my ideas or ways of doing things.  I just don't get it.

[IsItHerOrIsItMe]

I feel your frustration here.  I don't think the subject at hand (religion) has anything to do with it. 

I agree... .it's just that with religion it's a subject she cares about and has done her own research on.

Of course I'm told other times since I don't believe quite the same thing she does that's her reason to not trust me... .

I guess I just don't understand the world view that keeps someone from being able to "agree to disagree".  She has an almost smugness when she says some churches have kicked her out because of what she believes... .and won't consider the possibility that people were just tired of the way she communicates her beliefs.