Seeking info for my kids and I on how to live with a BPD Wife and Mother...

[Madmark]

Hello,

I have been married to my wife for 7 yrs, we are a blended family, and she has a son from a previous marriage as do I. We also have a daughter together. Life with my wife has been filled with good and bad times, sometimes more bad then good. I've known from the start of our relationship that she had issues, but who was I to judge as I too have my own, I suffer from Major Recurring Depressive Disorder and PTSD as a result of my Military carrier. I've never been able to put a name to what we all have been going though with her until last week when I was so overwhelmed I contemplated committing suicide and had myself admitted in to the Hosp for help. After listening to me go on and on for three days about what my children and I have been going through around my home with my wife the staff and Dr's gave me some info on BPD. WOW! I'm not crazy! I don't want to leave my wife for two reasons, 1. I still love her and 2. I can't leave the kids to deal with her all alone. I guess what I'm asking for is for someone to help my children and I deal with her illness so we might find some piece in our life and so my children will have a chance at a normal life as adults. Let me thank all that will step up and help me out in advance. THANK YOU!       

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[formflier]

 

I'm a retired Naval Officer... .and have had some bouts with PTSD as well.  I have 8 children and married for almost 20 years.

Once I found out about BPD traits and how to deal with them... .my life has gotten dramatically better.

This site played a huge role in the relationship getting better.

Step 1:  We need to get you healthy and stable.  Can you post some about how you are doing and your treatment plan for you.  Don't focus on wife or kids and all... .just talk about you.

Step 2:  Learn everything you can about BPD traits.  Read the lessons.  Sounds like you have know for a week or so.  You most likely feel like you are drinking from a fire hose of information. 

Know this... there is an "order to the disorder"... .you need to learn about that.  It will take a while to understand... but ... .it will help.

Looking forward to your next post!

 

[GaGrl]

Your post could have been written by my husband, about his first marriage. He was a 30 year Army infantry officer when we married. He stayed in his first marriage to a uNPD / BPD because of his own FOG and his firm conviction that he could not leave the children, and then teenagers, with her during his unaccompanied tours/deployments. And the children were affected nonetheless, but I can't imagine what would have happened without DH with them on a daily basis.

People understand. We really do. We don't have the answer for you, but we are great sounding boards.