I'm really sorry that you are living with this much pain, All4BVM
It's got to hurt for you not to be able to see or communicate with your family. Were you close to them before you had to go "no contact" with them?
Did you ever have to go this long without seeing them prior to the last year?
How did your wife deal with it before the last dysregulation that resulted in your not seeing your family for the last year?
Have you had the chance to check out all of the
links to the right-hand side of this page? Every single one of them are invaluable to learning how your wife's mind works, and learning the communication tools & techniques that can help make things at least a little bit better in your relationship. Also, at the top of the first page of this Board (above the sticky threads, and member threads) are 4 photos, with links to Feature Articles under each photo.
I highly recommend that you check them out, also... .This link will be eye-opening and helpful to you for sure:
When a partner, spouse or girlfriend has Borderline Personality Disorder. I can't tell you that these links are the solution to all of your problems, All4BVM, but they might help