Now she speaks for God...

[jedimaster]

 After more than a week of barely speaking (all of which was my fault, but what else is new... .I don't even acknowledge that any more), my uBPDw has finally broken the silence.  Lots of interesting and surreal stuff in the convo, but compared to some it was mild to moderate.

Until she started speaking for God.

She has been inserting these comments into some of her rants for a little while, but tonight she went off on a major tangent, informing me that when "I" get my act together and start treating her as she should be treated, God will be pleased.  I need to get my life in line with His plan and then everything will be as it should be between us as a couple.  Being in line with God was far more important than all my therapy and support groups.  (Can I get a witness?  Can I get an Amen? Give us a little bit of that organ, sister... .)

I haven't mentioned on here before, but I do have a degree in theology from a seminary, although I have not been in the ministry for a number of years.  But for most of our married life I was a worship minister. 

In the abstract, everything she said is perfectly good preaching.  But place it in the context of BPD and it takes on quite a new interpretation.

God is now on her side.  I'm doomed.

The whole sermon thing was actually quite helpful to me, in that it was so surreal, so completely off-planet, that I lost all desire to JADE and just sat back and listened in amazement, with what I hope was an expression of interest.

I think I handled things pretty well; as well as can be expected when one suddenly finds oneself the subject of a prophetic word from the Almighty.

I just wanted my friends on here to be aware of the situation, so in case I suddenly stop posting, you'll know that it's not your BPD spouse, it's God... .better make things right.  You might want to browse CNN for any stories of some middle-aged guy being suddenly obliterated on a clear day.

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[formflier]

 

I'm glad you have finally seen the light... .

[jedimaster]

I don't want to give anyone the wrong impression. I know a lot of people depend on their faith to get them through living with BPD.  I do as well, and my belief has become even stronger as there are plenty of days I feel only God understands what I am going through.  Which makes it all the more surreal to listen to her explain to me how our issues are the result of my failure to follow "God's plan for me as a husband." 

I kept my post light hearted because this whole episode was so... .weird... .that I don't know how else to approach it.  I don't want anyone to feel that I am making light of the role of faith in dealing with mental illness.  Let me assure you, I am right there in the pew with you.  But sometimes you just have to laugh to keep from crying... .or worse.  God understands.  "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine, but a broken spirit drieth the bones" Prov. 17:22.   

[Jessica84]

  No disrespect to anyone's faith but this cracked me up. With all the stress I've been going thru lately, I needed that. Thanks Jedimaster!

[KateCat]

You might find some comfort in reading the posting history of "Mount Si," a former site member who tells of his struggles to reconcile his role as a minister and as a husband of a woman with borderline personality characteristics. (His sense of humor will not be unfamiliar to you. )

[formflier]

I'm totally with you on the humor.  My response was hopefully taken as humor! 

Humor helps detaching... .and detaching helps you find things a bit funnier.

I mean... it is kinda funny that after beating me up for wanting all these other women... .that my wife then sends me a naked one in an email picture... .or... I could have cried... .so far I chosen to chuckle...