confused and sad for my gf

[chewy044]

Hi im here looking for some direction.I read this site the last few days and applied what I learned to relate with my BPD gf.She had a flight response she sad from fears of losing me and feels like she doesnt deserve me or anything good.I have helped her in many ways and her kids.I know that they try to manipulate so I try to always remember that so I dont overly give things or condone her behavior.So she went back to a few friends of hers and her ex now after this episode.Then she calls said she made a mistake and needs help leaving there.The friends are toxic as far as drugs and enabling her.So we talk and she says she wants to leave he is there and very drunk and popping pills.I heard this all while they fought which was really hard but i did it thanks to my faith.So He started to break things and wouldnt let her have her stuff and she was also using and drinking.She is on probation as well and im involved with her po to try and help her out.So anyway her family just leaves her as is doesnt try to do anything for her.I tryed to call  them last night because she threated harm to herself.I then had to call the cops and they found her all drunk and with cuts all over her arms that she did to herself.So the cops took her to the hospital and then she calls to tell me is ok and that this guy will be over to the hospital to her her out later the druggie ex thats causing her to relapse by putting it in her face she didnt do any of this while we were together although it was hard for her.He gave drugs to her kids and also stole things from a store with them so hes no good for anyone.So i called the hospital today and the released her how could they just let her go after she did all of this and may have released her to him its been hours and he was wasted im shocked Idk Ive done everything I can do I think feel so bad for her because she has a good heart because she wants to do good and trys but struggles with it.shes not the type to do bad things and doesnt want to get better or cares please help

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[ThanksForPlaying]

Read on these boards - Sometimes you have to give up on people not because you don't care but because they don't

So sorry to hear what you're going through. I've been in a very similar situation. I'm still working on it, but try to ask yourself why you're so invested and concerned about her. Why do you need to fix her so badly? And also, how much more do you want to try? Is there a limit to what you'll do for her? Maybe there is, maybe not, but if not then why is there no limit? If there is a limit, then stick to it (easier said than done)

[Aussie0zborn]

It's a horrible addiction you have there but you can't help her, dude. We are simply not qualified to help. No amount of love, caring, compassion or even chopping your hand off for her is going to change anything. 

I take it she was a stranger to you before you met and became involved with her. How is it that you're responsible for a stranger? You're not. Her family knows what they're doing.

She is not your responsibility. Don't do this to yourself. It's not being selfish, it's just protecting yourself from the grief that you didn't cause and from something you can't handle. Run as fast as you can.