I decided I am going to see uBPDbf next month. Our communication has improved a bit but, the topic of him moving back here is constantly diverted. He says that he does not want to talk about moving back here and the future of our relationship over the phone but, wants to have the conversation in person. I do not understand the reasoning for it.
I know he loves me and intends on marrying me. As I stated in a previous thread, his expectations are very unrealistic and almost like a fantasy. I addressed these concerns and he keeps telling me that we will talk in person. I am afraid if I fly out there, we are not going to have this conversation. I can use SET and not JADE but, he has a tendency to avoid the topic. For example:
Me: "I understand that you are upset, anxious, and depressed and I am here for you, but we really need to talk about our relationship and future plans. Not talking about our future makes me feel anxious and does not help our relationship.
Him: "I know and I love you." (This is what he usually says when I bring up future plans)
I was thinking we could discuss our future plans in a neutral place. The only place I could think of is us both going to his therapist. I think it would be a "safe" spot for him. Is this a good idea? I cannot think of another way of resolving this. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.
