How do we get help?

[Depression = 72% of members]

I am convinced my husband of 22years has BPD and asked him to look at several web sites,books about BPD.He agreed he thinks he has symptoms and in a way was relieved he could put a "LABEL" to it as he has always thought there was something wrong with him.I went with him to doctors to ask if he could be referred to a psychiatrist for assessment.I explained that I was aware it could be something else but our relationship is a breaking point and we need a diagnosis.My husband actually went into a rage while in the surgery over something insignificant then broke down.Doctor said he would get a referral.We have just been advised when we called back after two weeks that after discussing his case they have decided counselling would be appropriate and if we needed to know anymore we will need to make an appointment to see the doctor.

My husband has been to several counsellors over the years and they have nt made any difference because he witholds relevant information and tells half truths.Does anyone know how we can get a diagnosis without going through counselling yet again to no avail.I am at the end of my tether.

[mallard]

I am convinced my husband of 22years has BPD and asked him to look at several web sites,books about BPD.He agreed he thinks he has symptoms and in a way was relieved he could put a "LABEL" to it as he has always thought there was something wrong with him.I went with him to doctors to ask if he could be referred to a psychiatrist for assessment.I explained that I was aware it could be something else but our relationship is a breaking point and we need a diagnosis.My husband actually went into a rage while in the surgery over something insignificant then broke down.Doctor said he would get a referral.We have just been advised when we called back after two weeks that after discussing his case they have decided counselling would be appropriate and if we needed to know anymore we will need to make an appointment to see the doctor.

My husband has been to several counsellors over the years and they have nt made any difference because he witholds relevant information and tells half truths.Does anyone know how we can get a diagnosis without going through counselling yet again to no avail.I am at the end of my tether.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[frizz]

Sorry you're going through a rough time with your husband.  I don't blame you for being at your wits end, and getting the run-around from doctors certainly doesn't help! It would be nice to have something concrete to point at and start to work on.

That said, a diagnosis of BPD might not change much. It may validate your experience, but for things to get better, you'll both have to do a lot of work, diagnosis or none. The modules on this site are a great help. I highly recommend digging into those.