my son jumped from the fifth floor I tried to stop him

[Calm Waters]

I have been in hospital with my 26 yo son for 12 days he's recovering despite massive damage to his body. I wrestled with Him for a few minutes but he got away. I held on as long as I could but had to watch him fall. On top of all the ___ of the last 2 years now a third suicidal incident in 2 years! Why?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[chooselove]

I'm beyond grateful, for your sake and his, that he's alive and I hope with all I can that he heals inside and out after this unimaginable experience for you both.   Praying for a miracle.   

[lever.]

I am so glad that he survived this.

I can't imagine how horribly traumatic it must have been for you.

I hope he continues to heel physically and that then you can both begin to heel emotionally. 

[mggt]

Dear Calm,  Thank god he survived we will be praying for him and you get some rest if u can 

[MammaMia]

Calm Waters

I am so sorry.

My BPDs hit a brick wall doing 90+ mph this spring.  Miraculously, he also survived but will have physical issues the rest of his life, and I personally believe he now suffers from brain trauma. As time passes he has become more and more angry and violent.

He blames me for his suicide attempt (I was not with him nor did I know he was in another city 100 miles away. There was no argument or other form of catalyst concerning me). As he recuperates, he is consumed with hatred for everyone, especially me.  As an adult, he refuses psychiatric treatment. He spent 4 weeks in the hospital and 3 weeks in a nursing home, after 4 major surgeries (100 miles away).  I have been the only person to care for, transport, and support him the past 7 months. I have expressed my reluctance to be his primary caregiver to his doctors and to him, he refuses to let anyone else help, including social services. 

I hope you have sought therapy or some kind of support for yourself. You did not do this to your son ... .he did. You did not fail to save him.  I think as parents of a mentally ill adult child, we still tend to blame ourselves for their destructive behavior, when, in fact, we have no control over what they do or why.

I understand your pain, but sometimes we need to accept the situation we are in and work to save ourselves and other members of our family.  We can only do so much to protect our BPD-loved ones from themselves, and they may succeed at ending their lives one day. This is the reality of BPD.

You must take care of your emotional needs as well as his.  We are victims of a cruel mental illness, just as they are. 

Please keep us posted.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Elbry]

I can't imagine how awful this must have been for you, but thank the Gods he is alive and there is hope.  I don't know why this happens.  My DD15 has had 4 attempts in 18 months.  What are you doing for yourself?  Do you see a counselor to help you deal with all this?

[Calm Waters]

Thank you for your responses he is doing well considering he fell 100 feet on to concrete. He has been in icu for 2 weeks and has been extubated for 3 days. It looks like he will make a good recover physically but as for the underlying mental health I'. Not sure. I have a lot of friends and on going counselling. He seems indefinite about whether he wished he had succeeded.

[maxen]

hi Calm Waters. you and your son have all my sympathy. i am very happy he recovered and i am very happy that you have friends who can help you now. thank you for letting us know the situation. please remember we are with you in spirit.

[Mutt]

Hi Calm Waters,

I would like to echo maxen You have my sympathies and we're with you in spirit. As a parent this must of been a very difficult situation. I'm sorry 

[MammaMia]

Calm Waters

I am so sorry for what you are going through.  You are a hero not a failure.

Doctors, EMT's, and police said there is no way my son should have survived his crash.  I believe it was God's way of saying that it was not his time to die, and he has a second chance at life.  I hope and pray both of our sons get this message and take it to heart.

Stay strong.  Thoughts and prayers for you and yours.

[tristesse]

hello Calmwaters.

I first want to tell you how happy I am that your DS survived and will recover physically. Second I want to tell you how sorry I am that you and your family are going through this emotional upheaval. I will pray for you and your DS, as I hope the both of you are able to heal on an emotional level. I am thinking of you my friend. Hang in there.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[jellibeans]

dear calm

I am so sorry to read your post. I am hopeful your son survived and also hopeful he will take away something from all this to want to get the help he needs.

[theplotthickens]

My heart goes out to you, and I am praying for the memories of that day to be replaced with a new hope.  I found my daughter hanging in a closet after one of her suicide attempts, and it traumatized me in a way that is hard to explain, but, well, you know.  That was two years ago, and she has not had another attempt, has been working full time, and is about ready to graduate and attend a technical school.

Things can get better, and that is my prayer for you and your family.  I am sorry for what you are going through.

[mama72]

Prayers for you and your son, Calm Waters.

[Calm Waters]

My son is recovering we'll from his physical injuries, it looks like he will be able to walk again eventually. His mind is still disordered some days and now the meds have been reduced I can hear that the ruminations that led to this tragic event are still there. Logic doesn't seem to help and he is still refusing to engage with psychological services. I am here every day ready to talk when he wants to. It's going to be a long haul.

[tristesse]

glad to hear he is recovering physically. Stay strong, but take care of your own needs as well. still thinking of the both you, still praying.

[Calm Waters]

My son suffered fractures in in cervical spine, broken ribs, punctured lung, smashed lower lumbar, fractured pelvis, broken thumb, fractured foot. He was intubated for two weeks and will be in hospital for months. Miraculously he can move and has sensation in both legs and we hop he will make a good recovery physically. However the underlying sever depression and PTSD, paranoia and hopelessness remain. He will of course get psychological support, but will it work?

[qcarolr]

Calmwaters,

So grateful your DS is started on healing his body. Such trauma for you. Sometimes we need a break and allowing a trained counselor to be his case manager would help. My BPDDD28 draws me deep into her drama. She says she does not trust anyone else. I have a belief that others don't 'get' her. I continously remind myself of personal boundaries. When I listen to my Tand my mentor things are better.

I recently read Xavier Amador's book " I Am Not Sick, I Don't Need Help". I found a thread that has a video with him in this topic. It has given new perspective on how to help  my DD. She accepts her depreesin and anxiety.  Not BPD. When I can focus on skills to help her in HER goals to manage these, I see progress in BPD behaviors as a "side effect". Here is the link:

www.bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=99381.0

I know you love your son with your wholeheart. Please take some time for yourself. Keep coming back to vent or update us progress.

qcr