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Author Topic: Splitting at the same tims obsessing  (Read 354 times)
Issy
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 90


« on: December 07, 2014, 05:55:34 PM »

My friend is 'splitting me' (I am painted black or get 'punished' but at the same time obsessing (she is very much following what I do) over me, and all this time she ignores me.

How can this be? Is this common? What does it mean?
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Grey Kitty
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Separated
Posts: 7182



« Reply #1 on: December 08, 2014, 09:13:49 PM »

My guess is that it means your friend isn't very mentally healthy! You won't do yourself much good trying to understand exactly what flavor of crazy is inside your friend's head.

How are you feeling about this silent treatment from your friend?

What are you doing about it?
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draptemp
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Posts: 50


« Reply #2 on: December 08, 2014, 10:57:44 PM »

Issy, thank you for posting this... .I have asked this exact same question about the same thing a 1,000 times. It is something I don't understand. I, too, am painted black (as an ace of spades) and punished continuously, yet, my dBPDso is for ever obsessing over me by following and tracking every thing I do and place I go then punishing me even more severely. All the while telling me they don't care and withholds every thing they possibly can from me and rages if I ask a simple question of curiosity or need.

I wish others who have experienced this scenario could offer some insight. I am at my wits end and totally relate to you
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maxsterling
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic Partner
Relationship status: living together, engaged
Posts: 2772



« Reply #3 on: December 09, 2014, 09:42:34 AM »

Grey kitty makes a good point.  It makes no sense because BPD makes no sense to us that don't have it.  But I have seen it over and over in my wife.  She will paint people black, then obsess over them for awhile.  I think she has learned to delete their facebook contacts and phone numbers so as to help her quit obsessing.  My guess if she didn't take that action, she would completely obsess until she fell apart.  I remember once her telling me that if she and I broke up, she would probably obsessively drive by my house.  Her telling me that probably tells me she has done that to an ex before.
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