First post, new to site

[Barrister]

Hello,

I entered into a romantic relationship with a woman who I believe has BPD.  I have sought the opinion of a professional, who although not having examined her (she would never stand for that) believes that she has BPD.  I love this woman and want to stay with her, but it is exceedingly difficult with her breaking up with me multiple times per week and each time I think that it is for good.  I do not want to embark on a downward decline of groveling, in trouble, groveling more, etc., but rather want to manage things as best I can to maintain the relationship which I believe has value to both of us.

Any thoughts or feedback is much appreciated.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Rapt Reader]

Hello, Barrister & 

I'm really happy you found us--this is absolutely the place to be if you are wanting to manage a relationship with someone you suspect has BPD. There are so many of us who love our partners (despite the difficulties) and want to support each other in helping to make things better in our relationships. You are among compadres here 

Have you had the chance to read the links to the right-hand side of this page? The Lessons are an invaluable resource in learning how our loved one's mind works, and how to navigate the communication minefields we sometime find ourselves in. Also, the Feature Articles linked to under the photos at the top of the threads on this Board are eye-opening and very enlightening in figuring things out.

How long have the two of you been together? Do you live together? Have any children? See each other every day, or ? Please tell us more about your story, and ask your questions... .Let us know how you like the information I linked to (and to the right of this page), and if you have any questions about any of it. I'm impressed that you are so willing to figure out how to deal with BPD in order to preserve your relationship; it's never very easy, but well worth it when we love our partner and see things get better 

[Grey Kitty]

  Barrister!

Rapt Reader already gave you some good links to start with; I won't repeat them or overwhelm you.

I'm wondering about breaking up multiple times a week and groveling... .

Do you always beg her to come back when she breaks up with you? Can you tell us more about how it went one typical time?

 GK