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Author Topic: A small thing, but not really  (Read 357 times)
PinkieV
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 200



« on: December 18, 2014, 07:35:41 AM »

Hi all,

My SS14 is due to fly to BM's for his Christmas visitation this Saturday.  BM moved just before Thanksgiving, and gave DH an incorrect address when he requested it.  We think that may have been on purpose, as she was actually evicted after a foreclosure, and removed $10K+ of appliances, cabinets, and flooring from the house when she left.  It's a long, sordid story, but we're friends with someone on the board of the HOA, and I'm sure she didn't want us passing along her new address info because, according to SS14, she is storing everything she stole at her new residence.  The HOA is in the process of filing charges against her.

The actual issue is, at the time, she gave us her "landlord's" name.  When SS14 visited at Thanksgiving, she tagged him in a lot of FB photos, and the "landlord" was very cozy and chummy with them.  SS14 confirmed that he actually lives in the home, and BM rents the top floor.

DH e-mailed her this week asking for the "landlord's" contact information, as per the parenting agreement, she's required to divulge this information about anyone living in the home.  She has not responded. What does he do now?

On the one hand, it's not that big of a deal.  On the other hand, it COULD be because 1) BM takes SS14's phone at times, and if something happens to her, SS14 would have a really hard time contacting us, or even relatives in the area (BM is estranged from them), and 2) she's ignoring the parenting agreement, and expects that we'll send him anyway and she'll get away with it.  Realistically, DH not sending him because she wouldn't pass along a phone number is pretty questionable.  But, he's got to draw a line on her little behaviors, or they'll mushroom pretty quickly.  Anyone have any advice?  Thank you!
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Turkish
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned by SO in Feb 2013; Mother with BPD, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety: RIP in 2021.
Posts: 12127


Dad to my wolf pack


« Reply #1 on: December 23, 2014, 03:34:01 PM »

Hi PinkieV,

How did it go Saturday, did he fly out?
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    “For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.” ― Rudyard Kipling
PinkieV
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 200



« Reply #2 on: December 24, 2014, 08:03:42 AM »

Yes, he did, we were a little devious and she came through.

We knew she wouldn't answer, so a couple of nights before, as we were eating dinner, I told DH not to worry about getting the information from BM.  I told him I remembered that I have a subscription to a background investigation company at work, since I'm a business owner.  I told him BF checked out fine, I had all his info and cell number - all this in front of SS14.

Of course SS14's ears perked up and he asked what we were talking about.  We told him the parenting plan stated that his dad needed to have information on anyone living with BM so that he would be safe.  We told him we hadn't "heard back from BM yet", but it was not a problem as we had the info.

We didn't want to involve SS14 in anything, but we figured just feeding him some info would be fine.  Sure enough, she texted the info to DH the next day!  Truth is, I had spent a couple of hours and found his info, but she forwarded a text from BF telling us he was fine with it and understood completely.  So all's well that ends well!

BM is very happy with this new BF right now, so it will be a good holiday for SS14, and I'm glad.  I'm happy he can have fun with her and get to enjoy the relationship more.  She was actually civil when DH texted her about a flight delay.  A Christmas miracle, for sure!
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Turkish
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned by SO in Feb 2013; Mother with BPD, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety: RIP in 2021.
Posts: 12127


Dad to my wolf pack


« Reply #3 on: December 24, 2014, 10:11:24 AM »

 A wonderful Christmas gift indeed  

And well-played on the secret agent stuff  Being cool (click to insert in post)
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    “For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.” ― Rudyard Kipling
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