To Pursue or Not To Pursue?

[JRT]

It seems that way a bit... .but considering my case for example, I am backed into a corner. I AM compelled to contact her and make an attempt... .but at the same time, the last time I did this, I was rewarded by a call from the cops. I am fresh out of cards to play except for nc.

Yesterday was my 4 month b/e anniversary.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Restored2]

JRT:  The breakup anniversaries are not a time of celebration for guys like us.  I can appreciate your situation being different than mine with your hands being more or less tied from doing anything else.  Sounds like if you were in my shoes that you would do what I am doing though.  Is this correct?

[JRT]

Yeah, absolutely. I think that most people here think that you and I have a different kind of crazy. I would do anything for a friend or loved one including suffering through privations. My ex KNOWS this and called it to attention more than once. I tell you: everything that is good in my life has come through hard work, sacrifice, embrace of risk and - often - having to fight for it. This situation is no different but if I do not exhaust every possibility, the worst kind of hell for someone like me is to sped the rest of my days wondering... .

[Restored2]

JRT:  LOL... .Way too funny!  I think you're likely right about you and I being seen as another flavour of crazy here.  From what I have read our relationship scenarios are more similar than others, involving women that are high functioning on a waif level with overall low/no drama and no rages.  I thought you would if you were in my shoes.  Life has not been easy street for me either.  Risk and fight have been bookends along my journey forwards.  I can totally relate to what you said about the hell of spending the rest of your days wondering.  I do not want to live with any regrets, which is why I am trying to be proactive in dealing with my situation.  

[JRT]

Finally... .I have had some people raise their eyebrows to me here (on another forum, not related to mental health, I had people ready to have me arrested!) ... .I think that part of the disconnect is that mine just wasn't the raging lunatic that some of these women seem to be: they sound like evil incarnate sometimes... .did mine do something bad? YES - REALLY bad. It will be up to me to judge this if she ever comes back as excusable or not.

[Restored2]

JRT: What the heck did you do to have people ready to have you arrested?  Despite what mine is continuing to put me through, I don't consider mine to be evil incarnate at all.  She overreacted out of fears/phobias and made some wrong choices as a result.  You still sound open to take yours back, which speaks volumes.

[Rapt Reader]

This thread has reached its post limit and is now closed. This is a worthwhile topic, and you are free to start a new thread (or continue the conversation here: BPD "Label" Confusions).