Am brand new to here looking for support

[timandkat]

I have been in a relationship for 8 years with my partner whom has had a recent diagnosis of BPD. She has alot more awareness and has done alot and ongoing therapy but I/we still need support. Sometimes things can get so unbearable but I always look forward to the good days she has. She has come a long way and now it's time for me to get some support/help and she understands this.  I wish I found these forums alot earlier but it's good to know I have a place to get support.

I look forward to meeting anyone on here. I am open to any advice it's so wonderful to know there are resources like this out there. Thanks so much

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Rockylove]

 

The best advise I can give you is to read everything you can.  The suggested books are amazing and the lessons (to the right) have been invaluable to me.  So glad you found this wonderful resource!   

[EaglesJuju]

Hi timandkat,   

Welcome aboard.  You came to the right place for support and resources.  You will find that there are many of us who are going through similar situations with their significant other. Posting here really helps.

I understand how unbearable it is coping with the erratic and confusing behaviors of BPD.  The rollercoaster behavior of a person with BPD (pwBPD) can make anyone feel frustrated or overwhelmed. 

It is great that you are taking the opportunity to focus and have an outlet of support for yourself.     Taking care of yourself is very important. It sounds so simple, but it is something that most of us have forgotten or forget to do in our relationships.  The motto on the staying board is "before you can make anything better, you must stop making it worse."  This motto has truly helped me improve my relationship with my bf. My journey of making things better started by focusing on myself and learning my role in the relationship.  Take a look at this article.

Article 4: Take the First Step Toward Improving Your Relationship

It is great that your partner is in therapy, self-aware, and is working on her maladaptive behaviors.  What types of behavior are you having a problem coping with? 

[Cat Familiar]

Welcome and you're here with lots of people who've been through trying times. You sound like a supportive partner and I'm very glad that your SO has awareness and understanding of her part. What has helped me is to get therapy for myself. It's a lot of responsibility to be in a relationship with a pwBPD and in addition to posting here, having one's own therapist is very helpful.