Do I have PTSD? I am exhausted, depressed, feel worthless, yet forcing myself to keep going for my kids.
For years, I was verbally and emotionally abused by my ex. I ran and divorced her, but not my kids. I faught for equal time and custody. It took time, energy, and stress. Started with 23% and now have 50%. Problem is that despite all her messups, she keeps getting away with all the abuse.
Both my sons have Autism and other disorders. Recently, our little one (1sr grader) has been having major issues at school. He has assaulted students and staff, destroyed school property, and disrupted the classroom. Ex blames it on me saying I'm a ___ty father and our kid just needs to man up and learn dicipline. All this time, I have tried getting him seen by a psychiatrists only to be turned down because I don't have a vagina. Mom knows best type of world . Despite document after document, doctor report after report, I have been mostly ignored. Heck, she even had the nerve of accussing mr of having Maunchensen Syndrome (left out the "by proxy".
I felt so down, there were times I doubted myself. Am I over analyzing things? Am I wrong in believing our kids need help? Surely a 1st grader should know more and have better Speech patterns by now. I take them to the park all the time and it breaks my heart how far behind they are from their peers. Why can't your kid do the monkey bars? Why can't he swing? Not everyone is blessed to have it all little girl, sigh, but we try
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Sigh, I'm not sure what I wrote this here. I've had a ___ty two weeks. His new therapist saw me and said my son is far too severe for her to handled and send us to his coworker in the same office of therapists. She said we may even have to intern him in a psychiatric hospital.
I was about to give up when I called CPS. The lady told me not to hold my hopes up... .parents can opt not to medicate the kids she said. The day she came to interview my kid, is a day of a major event. During in school suspension, he assault staff, destroyed walls, and even disrespected the police officer that came to issue him a sitation. ___, felt powerless. The CPS lady spoke to both of my sons. My fears where far lower then reality. The recent events are directly linked to domestic violence and possible drug use at their mother's.
___, ___, ___! I fired my old lawyer as she didn't defended me in court correctly. After all, my ec felt that despite loosing time, she was in the right and had the upper hand. Now I'm scrambling to gind a lawyer, deal with alternative school, and an ex who refuses to medicate/treat our kid.
Today, I had a meeting at school. She comes with her new husband all clean up and looking like normal. She says the court order invalidates any medical diagnosis. She has the audacity to ask why is our kid in Special Education. Send him to alternative school... .punish him. Sigh, is she for real? I mostly kept my mouth shut... .only interupting to clarify what the staff said. I finally do bolt a few statements after being attacked and humiliated for hours.
Following CPS advice, I kept the kids an extra night. I have to repeat yesterday in a few hours as I go to the alternatelive school hearing for my 1st grader . 10 days will feel like an eternity. It even breaks my heart explaining to him he won't go back to school each morning... .he has alternative school.
They tell me to give up the fight and work with my coparent. How the f cam you do it with a BPD ex who abuses you constantly?
OK, enough of a vent. Thanks for reading. I'd appreciate ant words of wisdom.
