These are adult children. Why do either of need to be involved? Why can' t you tell the son that he should contact the grandparents and set up the visit on his own? The husband can be involved or not as he chooses and son gets to see grandparents.
My H just became re-acquainted with is son this past summer. He wasn't around when he grew up. It's a long story, but basically H's son's mother gave him up to her mother, and she ran out of state with him before anyone knew what was going on. This is before Internet and such.
Yes, my H is diagnosed. His family knew there were 'issues', but they didn't know exactly what they were. He has been hospitalized in the past. It's one of those deals where for the longest time... .they'd rather not know and pretend like everything is fine.
His son is coming from out of town to visit us for a few days. We are picking them up since they don't have reliable transportation. With that being said, we are all going to be visiting together. It only makes sense for us to all coordinate together. The visit is the catalyst for my H's need to talk to his mother.
He ended up not making it yesterday. Last night, he started talking about how he feels his paranoia is getting worse for the passed 3 years. He said he knows he's sometimes seeing things that are not there (this fills in that issue a few months back when he thought my son was 'sneaking' out of bed when he was asleep the whole time) . He also said after the last time he saw his parents, he had a bad dream that the next time he sees his dad, it will be the last time. He firmly believes that.
After he was talking about all of this, it opened up the conversation for therapy. He said he would be willing to try... .but we will see. I think he meant it at the time... .but he won't follow through. Right after that he decided he wanted to go make me some eggs (it's kind of his thing... .he cooks for me when he feels bad) and he ended up dropping the olive oil on the floor... .glass and oil all over the kitchen title.
He came back in... .pacing... .complaining about the salt and pepper not being on the counter that it should have been there and not in the spice rack. Then he started saying something about cooking spray (it's dysregulation from dropping the oil and making a mess)
Long story short we got some weird-o dysregulation where he tried to attack me with some junk about how I play a machine at the casino. (We go once... .maybe twice a year tops) I push the button too fast or... .whatever. I simply said I am not going to listen to him yelling. If he wants to talk... I will talk. I will not yell.
He huffed and puffed... .but did calm down.
I'm glad you have had some good days, FF. I know you have been dealing with some head scratchers lately. Sometimes they just feel bad and it comes out weird because they don't know how to handle it... .or probably not aware of what's bothering them.
Our communication is opening though. Slowly but surely. At this time last year... he would have never admitted anything or talked about anything. I'm starting to get tidbits now. It's really sad to think he might have spent the passed 4 months fretting over a dream... .losing what little time with his dad he does have left. But... .those are his choices.
After all of the hooplah last night, he woke this morning like it was all totally fine. I told him we are going to his mother's tomorrow. He agreed to go. Whether he goes or not... .I'm going. I'm not going for him... .I'm going for his son. If it wasn't for his son, I would not go.
