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Skills we were never taught
98
A 3 Minute Lesson
on Ending Conflict
Communication Skills-
Don't Be Invalidating
Listen with Empathy -
A Powerful Life Skill
Setting Boundaries
and Setting Limits
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Author Topic: Well, this is complicated  (Read 364 times)
damiwolf

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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Posts: 4


« on: March 13, 2015, 09:10:26 AM »

Hello all!

I'm new here. I'm in a bit of a unique situation... .I have bipolar disorder, and in the middle of one of my own episodes, my boyfriend and I entered into a polyamorous relationship with a woman we later found out has borderline. I'm stable now, but things are definitely stressful. In some ways the nature of our relationship adds some stress (she feels insecure a lot), but in other ways it has allowed us all some perspective, and has kept us from falling in too deep, to a place where we're too close to the situation to see it.

We're all committed to each other, and are all actively working to take care of ourselves. My girlfriend and I are both in therapy. She has quit drinking. I didn't really drink in the first place, so it's been easy for me to support her by not drinking.

Anyway, it's been hard for me to open up, because everyone likes to give an opinion on whether or not I should have entered this relationship. What's done is done. I've already spent the time and energy thinking about the past, now I want to focus on the present. We are in this relationship, and want to look forward.
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RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING
This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Together since 2011. Married since 2013.
Posts: 215


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« Reply #1 on: March 13, 2015, 09:56:02 AM »

Anyway, it's been hard for me to open up, because everyone likes to give an opinion on whether or not I should have entered this relationship.

I hope you can be comfortable opening up here. No one has judged me, despite the number of crazy stories I've thrown at everyone. We all have situations that are far more complicated than what we can lay out in words, especially when we're new to the forum.

Welcome, by the way.
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Cat Familiar
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 7482



« Reply #2 on: March 14, 2015, 11:59:53 AM »

Please take a look at the lessons on the right side of this page. Dealing with BPD is complex and very challenging and using the strategies you will learn here will help.
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“The Four Agreements  1. Be impeccable with your word.  2. Don’t take anything personally.  3. Don’t make assumptions.  4. Always do your best. ”     ― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
damiwolf

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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Posts: 4


« Reply #3 on: March 18, 2015, 06:35:34 PM »

Thank you for the welcome!
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