Hello and welcome, nlk!
First of all nope... .you are not alone. My H, in fact, sits around all day reading news stories on the Internet, refuses to go to a doctor, and yes... .sometimes I am the A hole if I don't drive the way he thinks I should, or play a video game the same way... .or heck even if I like a different condiment on my cheeseburger!
I'm sorry you have found yourself in BPDland, but there is hope
We all here know exactly what's going on. When you can... .read the lessons here to start changing how you guys communicate together. That's a big first step. Another thing to remember... .as a suggestion I would not mention this site or BPD to your spouse. It's most likely going to cause a dysregulation... .which is one of those fits they are famous for throwing.
The first thing to remember their actions are from mental disorder, and they really don't mean to, and probably don't want to. It's born from fear of abandonment and self-shame. Don't take any of the sillyness they spew to heart. What they say one minute might be completely different 5 minutes after. For them feelings=fact, and that's why it's so frustrating for us.
