My girlfriend's BPD has got me at breaking point

[Depression = 72% of members]

My girlfriend has quite apparent traits of PBD and its destroying me.

We've been going out for about a year now and we're both in our first year of university and 19 but we're 100 miles apart. to begin with it was fine and was never really an issue but since being at university I feel so stressed yet im not even with her. I'm never giving her the attention she needs and i'm always neglectful in her eyes.  the train is £50 return so its quite expensive and its not feasible for us to visit one another every two weeks but if I say that; "you just don't care, you hate me, why do I bother" etc etc.

I am incessantly moaned at for not giving her the attention that she needs, yet I stay on the phone to her till 1/2 on several occasions at night meaning I miss my lectures sometimes.  on that point, she screams at me for not waking up at stupid o'clock to answer her crying calls.  so much so that I have temporarily blocked her number before because I just cant sleep beyond the drunken calls. I made the mistake of telling her I blocked her and we all know how that ended up.

Just today im being questioned about whether im sexually attracted to her because all her mates have such a high sex drive (basically theyre all slags) but im not an overly sexual person but that means that I think shes ugly and fat supposedly. by the way anything I say or do usually translates to me calling her fat in her eyes.

there is a lot of petty things that I do without even considering them as anything that she goes ape ___ at me for.  for example, I bought myself an xbox the day before valentines day and oh my god was she angry. I couldn't see a problem myself because its an xbox but apparently it rendered her presents obsolete.  anyway, when I do inconsiderate things like this she phones her mum immediately and tells her how much of an arse I am. her family are alright but they hate me now because all they have is such a negative picture of me when in reality they have no idea how much I do for their daughter and where she'd be without me.

another recent incident was how she wanted to take me on holiday with her parents and so she asked me when my university term finished. lo and behold I was an idiot for not telling her that my course finished later than hers but how could I know when this is.

I could carry on listing examples all day but in truth my huge bug bare is how im not allowed to be angry or get annoyed. if I do something wrong she will argue and shout for hours/days but when I try and raise an issue or concern I get immediately rejected and she says 'im awful, why are you with me, sorry im so ___'. then she forgets about the argument (I don't), does puppy eyes and I have to forget it ever happened and its a joke.

I want to end it with her but everytime I think about it I get upset and I'm stuck. the other thing is that im in my first year of university and I want to go out and enjoy myself and meet other women; yes that may sound selfish but when you put so much in and get nothing back its a little disheartening. I have spoken to her about her BPD and when I bring it up she says "you cant say that, I don't do it anymore" when in fact of course she does. she is also very emotionally unstable and im worried that im all that's holding her together; furthermore if I dump her she will make me out to be a c*** because I was supposedly never there for her

help what do I do?

[HXS499]

My girlfriend has quite apparent traits of PBD and its destroying me.

We've been going out for about a year now and we're both in our first year of university and 19 but we're 100 miles apart. to begin with it was fine and was never really an issue but since being at university I feel so stressed yet im not even with her. I'm never giving her the attention she needs and i'm always neglectful in her eyes.  the train is £50 return so its quite expensive and its not feasible for us to visit one another every two weeks but if I say that; "you just don't care, you hate me, why do I bother" etc etc.

I am incessantly moaned at for not giving her the attention that she needs, yet I stay on the phone to her till 1/2 on several occasions at night meaning I miss my lectures sometimes.  on that point, she screams at me for not waking up at stupid o'clock to answer her crying calls.  so much so that I have temporarily blocked her number before because I just cant sleep beyond the drunken calls. I made the mistake of telling her I blocked her and we all know how that ended up.

Just today im being questioned about whether im sexually attracted to her because all her mates have such a high sex drive (basically theyre all slags) but im not an overly sexual person but that means that I think shes ugly and fat supposedly. by the way anything I say or do usually translates to me calling her fat in her eyes.

there is a lot of petty things that I do without even considering them as anything that she goes ape ___ at me for.  for example, I bought myself an xbox the day before valentines day and oh my god was she angry. I couldn't see a problem myself because its an xbox but apparently it rendered her presents obsolete.  anyway, when I do inconsiderate things like this she phones her mum immediately and tells her how much of an arse I am. her family are alright but they hate me now because all they have is such a negative picture of me when in reality they have no idea how much I do for their daughter and where she'd be without me.

another recent incident was how she wanted to take me on holiday with her parents and so she asked me when my university term finished. lo and behold I was an idiot for not telling her that my course finished later than hers but how could I know when this is.

I could carry on listing examples all day but in truth my huge bug bare is how im not allowed to be angry or get annoyed. if I do something wrong she will argue and shout for hours/days but when I try and raise an issue or concern I get immediately rejected and she says 'im awful, why are you with me, sorry im so ___'. then she forgets about the argument (I don't), does puppy eyes and I have to forget it ever happened and its a joke.

I want to end it with her but everytime I think about it I get upset and I'm stuck. the other thing is that im in my first year of university and I want to go out and enjoy myself and meet other women; yes that may sound selfish but when you put so much in and get nothing back its a little disheartening. I have spoken to her about her BPD and when I bring it up she says "you cant say that, I don't do it anymore" when in fact of course she does. she is also very emotionally unstable and im worried that im all that's holding her together; furthermore if I dump her she will make me out to be a c*** because I was supposedly never there for her

help what do I do?

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[ColdEthyl]

Hello and welcome hun! <3

You have a lot on your plate, with you being in Uni and all to boot. First off, I want to tell you that you are not alone. It sounds like BPD traits to me, and all of us can relate to feeling like there's no winning solution.

I guess where we need to start is it sounds like you want out of this relationship. Do I have that right?