What do you make of this?

[maxsterling]

Maid of honor is now staying with us, W is now in a mostly great mood.  Last night W goes out with her maid of honor, cousin, and a bunch of friends for a small get-together.  W comes home and says to me that she now wants maid of honor to be her sister wife ?  A joke?  Of course, I felt uncomfortable.  Wife then says that I can impregnate them both so that they both can have children about the same age?

My question - a joke?  If so, I wasn't at all amused... .

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[vortex of confusion]

Had she been drinking?

Who knows if it was a joke or not? I have read too many instances here pwBPD want to push for an open or alternative type of relationship. I know my husband and I went down that road.

Did you ask her if she was joking? My first inclination would have been to ask, "Are you being serious?"

[milesperhour]

I think she was joking.  A sick joke indeed.  Let's think of a SET for this:

I know you had a good time with your friends and are happy, and I am really glad about that.  But I don't like joking about my sleeping with other women.  I want our marriage to be monogamous and want you to feel the same way.

Kim

[Notwendy]

I wouldn't make too much of that. It sounds like she had fun with her friends and wishes they could spend more time together.

I think you mentioned before that your w has been sexual with women? Maybe this comment brought something like this up for you? However, she could have just been kidding with this comment.

Enjoy the wedding. I'd just let this one go unless it got brought up again multiple times.

[Grey Kitty]

If it never comes up again, it isn't important.

I could come up with a dozen possible explanations in my head of what it might mean, or how this could blow up into a huge problem. I'm not going to go there... .I'm sure several of them flashed through your eyes already, max.

More likely, the recurring issues between you and your wife will be the old ones, not this.

[Oooohm]

Max

New here... .Haven't followed your story.

My GUT reaction is it was a "Test".

My wife has said similar things in the past. She was VERY sexually active with many many partners before I met her and early on I assumed she was "good" with an "Experimental Lifestyle", (I'm not a prude in any way... .) so when she started "suggesting" different things with "other" people involved and I showed SOME interest... .  It was always followed by (A day or two later) a major Dys-regulation episode.

I respond now with: "If thats something you want to do I'll think about it... .but I would prefer to keep it just us"  Seems to "Calm" her. (No dys-regulation episodes)

Also: Do you get the sense she is in the middle of "idolizing" "Placed on a Pedestal" "Painting White" the maid of honor?

I've noticed my wife wants to give to and "share" everything she has and owns to a "new" friend during the initial phase of the friendship... .Including me... .

[formflier]

If you have never made it clear to her that you don't want other people involved... .make it clear... once.

Then refuse to discuss it further.

However... .the moment has passed... .so... might be best to be ready for next time... and hope next time never shows.

FF