i am destroying myself but i cant give up on her

[Simbou44]

Hi. Im going to fail school. My mental and physical health is declining fast. I wish i could kill myself sometimes. I should leave her but i won't. Help me please.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Loosestrife]

Hi Simbou44,

I'm sorry you are going through so much pain. Please go to see a Therapist or doctor urgently and speak to a trusted friend or wily member urgently. You can not do this on your own, it's too big a thing and its affecting you badly. Once you have seen a health

Care professional then you can speak to a teacher at school and get some extra support. There are always options.

Keep posting. We are here for you

[LeaWhin]

I also attempted suicide because I felt I was to blame because he would not give me closure he ignored me for 6 months and slowly under my terms I let him back in. I told him what happens and that we need to help each other and he needs to talk to me not shut me out... We have been together again another year and he has shut down again... I sent him a message he knows were I am because I will not let him pull me down anymore... I've gained strength from him or maybe he has pushed me away ... either way don't blame yourself... keep talking through this x

[waverider]

Would you like to post some more of your situation so that we can start you off by pointing you in the right direction?

I guess you are awash with hopelessness right now and don't have any idea what to do, as everything seems to just make it worse.

Coping with a person with BPD is often counter intuitive, we can help you look at things more effectively so you dont drive yourself nuts in the first instance.

Waverider

[tim_tom]

Hi Simbou44,

I'm sorry you are going through so much pain. Please go to see a Therapist or doctor urgently and speak to a trusted friend or wily member urgently. You can not do this on your own, it's too big a thing and its affecting you badly. Once you have seen a health

Care professional then you can speak to a teacher at school and get some extra support. There are always options.

Keep posting. We are here for you

^^ See a therapist, it's amazing the clarity it can provide. I was  having suicidal thoughts, thinking I had lost the best thing that ever happened to me, only through therapy did I realize how unhealthy my relationship was and how I was essentially abused.

[Simbou44]

Wow thx. Yeah i feel better now. I do see a psychiatrist for my own problem. I do confort myself thinking i could just kill myself but id never do it. Today she was fine but i know her n i could feel the animosity coming up so ive been real careful not to make her angry. But then she was pushing it trying to piss me off and i got angry n there u go shes mad n everything is my fault im not good enough im the problem. I don't feel like i ow her anything so playing  nice is driving me crazy n ruining good days or week ends. I have to find out how to disable the bomb?

[waverider]

You can't disable the bomb, but you can reduce the amount of times you trip the fuse, and wear a bomb proof suit