BPD

[jmay2314]

My current wife and I are separated. She just receive her BS in mental health therapy and states I have BPD. I agree I have traits and I want help: however she has traits to from what I read. I do I know for certain I have BPD?

So sad and lost without my wife

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[maxsterling]

Hi, and welcome

What traits of BPD do you think you have?  What traits of BPD do you think your wife has?

It's not uncommon for a person with BPD to claim BPD in others.  to them, they are normal, and it is everyone else with the problem.

I'd suggest browsing the website here (especially the sidebar to the right) and read a bit more about the disorder.

[jmay2314]

Me   An unstable sense of self, identity or self-image-yes

   A pattern of unstable and intense relationships that alternate between wholly positive feelings and wholly negative feelings about the other person-yes

   Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment-yes

   Emotional instability including periods of depression and anger-yes

   Chronic feelings of emptiness-yes

   Impulsivity that is potentially self-damaging-yes

   Recurring suicidal behavior, gestures, threats or self-injury-no—have a had a few days of this

   Stress-related paranoia-no

   Dissociation-yes

Wife

Stress

Mood swings

depression/anger

always my fault and most could be triggering who actions. I just do not know

   

[waverider]

If you have questions of self doubt maybe you need your own therapist rather than being subject to your wife's opinions, which may very well be tainted.

Is this separation permanent or temporary?

if it is permanent you may need to have a look over at the Leaving Board.

If you do have BPD you may very well find this site triggering for you. If you find this happening we can recommend other resources for you. However, as others have stated we can start to believe we have problems that are not really originating in ourselves.

[jmay2314]

It look permanent as she has filed for divorce then stopped it. Where is leaving board?


I do not want a divorce

[waverider]

It look permanent as she has filed for divorce then stopped it. Where is leaving board?


I do not want a divorce

[L3] Leaving: Detaching from the Wounds of a failed BPD Relationship