Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
March 29, 2024, 06:06:28 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: Cat Familiar, EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Skills we were never taught
98
A 3 Minute Lesson
on Ending Conflict
Communication Skills-
Don't Be Invalidating
Listen with Empathy -
A Powerful Life Skill
Setting Boundaries
and Setting Limits
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: How to urge PwBPD to continue treatment  (Read 356 times)
funfunky

Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 4


« on: May 12, 2015, 05:12:24 PM »

So PwBPD was receiving therapy briefly with a very good therapist who is skilled in alternative therapies. I see her regularly as well and she has been very helpful with me and giving tips to help PwBPD. The problem is that PwBPD is convinced that therapy will never help and that therapy and my urging him to attend it will only make things worse. How do I still gently push him towards treatment without making him feel forced or threatened in any way? The therapist thinks I might have to create a crisis by leaving for a few days.  I'm not sure that's such a good idea with his history of attempted suicides and self harm plus his jealousy issues. I also don't believe a crisis will necessarily create Any type of light bulb moment in which he suddenly believes therapy will help. The last time I walked out on him it was just for the day. I was very upset and he told me not to leave or I'd regret it. He then destroyed a possession of mine  while I was away and sent me a picture of the destroyed item. He sent many angry texts but I was able to remain calm and empathetic. When I didn't lash back he was confused and called me telling me he wanted me to hate him. I told him I couldn't hate him because I love him unconditionally. He broke down and dropped into the regretful depression stage we see after every argument. He wanted to kill himself but I talked him down from that. When he said he wanted to self harm as repayment I talked him down as well. He still wanted to do something to make up for it, so I told him attending therapy would.  He then attended one more therapy visit. The visit went very well in my opinion. He was not made to feel threatened in any way and the therapist instead focused on making it a safe place. For some reason he's refused any further therapy after that. I think another "crisis" would only create a repeat of these events. I don't want a repeat, I'm looking for improvement. Any suggestions?
Logged
RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING
This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

waverider
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: married 8 yrs, together 16yrs
Posts: 7405


If YOU don't change, things will stay the same


« Reply #1 on: May 12, 2015, 06:16:35 PM »

Hi funfunky

Keeping up therapy is one of the hardest aspects with healing from BPD. Commitment is not one of their strongest traits. It often involves a lot of stop starts. They need to want to do it, and can't be "told" to do it.

Have a read through this workshop on attending and encouraging treatment and see if there is anything useful in there for you:

PERSPECTIVES: Telling someone that you think they have BPD

Waverider
Logged

  Reality is shared and open to debate, feelings are individual and real
jcl76

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 17


« Reply #2 on: May 13, 2015, 02:34:51 PM »

I have BPD. I would think that tell him how much you love him, how patient you are, how suppotive you will be, and you want him to be the best person they can be becasue their happiness is important to you.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!