Emotional first aid checklist for when she pushes me to the edge

[Jacq189]

Lets face it, they have 'pushing our buttons' down to a fine art. In response, I aim to have 'keeping my cool' down to a fine art. So whenever I feel myself getting even the slightest bit upset I will go over my 'Emotional first aid checklist'. This is a quick reminder of all the most important points (for me) that I have learnt here and from other resources that help to calm me and hopefully remove some of the trauma of the situation. I have this list on my phone so can easily excuse myself to go to the toilet and will read it there. By the time I have read through the whole list I usually feel calm and strong enough to face her again. I thought it might be useful to share this with others and maybe you can share if you have something similar.

Here is my 'Emotional first aid checklist':

-Don't JADE.

-Accept the reality that what is, is.

-Accept that your partner has a mental illness.

-Know you have the patience to tolerate the moment. Or the fortnight!

-Do only what is necessary in this moment.

-Focus on effectiveness.

-Don't try to control the situation.

-Be willing not wilful.

-You can't fix this. Step back and ride it out.

-Stop trying to figure out who is right/wrong or what is fair/unfair.

-You are OK and you can do this!

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Hmcbart]

Yep, this is now going on my phone... .thanks Jacq.