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Author Topic: Keeping me off track  (Read 359 times)
Hmcbart
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married for 17 years and together for 19.
Posts: 486



« on: June 18, 2015, 12:44:59 PM »

I noticed today in MC that every time I was trying to answer a question or say something that my wife would interrupt me. It's just a brief moment when she starts to say something but then she will stop and say she's sorry for interrupting and let me finish. I never noticed until today that each time it happened I lost track of what I was trying to say and once just told the T that I don't remember what I was going to say. She has done this a long time but I never thought about it until today.

I have ADD and can lose focus quickly. My wife knows this about me also and used this as the reason why she yelled and cursed at our oldest son.

My question: is this a tactic to keep me from talking about something that she perceives as damaging to her?
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Sunfl0wer
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: He moved out mid March
Posts: 2583



« Reply #1 on: June 18, 2015, 10:56:40 PM »

It could be.

I have difficulty focusing.

I bring a doodle book to MC.  I take notes to remember important things in T and also sometimes write some things I may want to cover during session. 

I will also write a key word down when someone else is talking so I can get back to my thought, but still be present to listen to current conversation.  Sometimes I'll doodle a simple pic of the thought... .whatever works.
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How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.~Anais Nin
vortex of confusion
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« Reply #2 on: June 19, 2015, 12:36:17 AM »

My question: is this a tactic to keep me from talking about something that she perceives as damaging to her?

I have had this problem with my husband for years. I have tried to talk to him about it. The best response I have gotten is something along the lines of, "I am not trying to interrupt you as much as I want to get out what I want to say before I forget about it." Basically, he isn't really listening to me to listen. He listens to me to respond. While I am talking, he is thinking about what he wants to say. The minute he gets a thought in his head, he blurts it out and interrupts me.

This has slowed way down and gotten a lot better. I think I may have gotten through to him a bit when I would stop talking when he would do that to me. If he would ask what I was going to say, I would disengage and end the conversation. There for a while, I just let him talk and didn't really say anything other than a brief acknowledgement that I heard him. I might validate or ask for more information but I did not share anything. I stopped trying to have a two way conversation with him there for a while. I stepped off the roller coaster.
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