Happy (belated) Father's Day

[Thunderstruck]

I just wanted to write to say a Happy Belated Father's Day to the dads on this board (and to all the smoms, pass this on to your SO's too)!

We had SD10 this weekend, and it was the first Father's Day that didn't result in her having a full scale emotional meltdown. It was a very nice weekend. I'm so happy that after 2.5 years of going through this custody case, that we have gotten to the point where SD and DH can have these times together without all the PA and the drama.

Friday night we were talking to one of my old coworkers, and he brought up how he hasn't spoken to his two (now adult) children in years because his ex poisoned them against him. It makes me sad, that DH has had to fight so hard just to be present in SD's life. Being able to see his own daughter and make parenting decisions about her well-being shouldn't require SO much money and SO much time in court.

Someone on my facebook posted a thing that said "Happy Father's Day to the real men. All you deadbeat dads sit down, we'll acknowledge you on April Fools Day."    I took offense to that. DH has been accused of being a deadbeat more times than I can count, even though he has always voluntarily paid support and pays for everything SD needs for school. I hate the label "deadbeat" because it is a stereotype only applied to men, used to trivialize their role as a parent.

[Turkish]

That sounds great for SD10 and you all!

Thanks for the wishes. I agree with your take on the back-handed compliment meme. One of my best friends had a deadbeat mom, so it isn't only dads. His dad got full custody of the kids when she ran off with his best friend many years ago, and she went from low-paying job to low-paying job to avoid the child support trigger threshold. I think she felt ok since she kept a r/s with the eldest daughter, but abandoned my buddy and his younger sister, only many years later making lame attempts to reconnect.

I think that the deadbeat concept may be more a function of who gets (or doesn't get) custody, rather than specific to gender.

S5 and D3 didn't know it was FD yesterday. I didn't remind them, but just did our normal Sunday stuff. Their mom didn't remind them on Friday, and I got no card this year, even though I've gotten her ones for MD the past two years. We've recently been getting along fine. She's too busy, I imagine.