DIL with BPD and has tore my family apart. How do I get understanding from this

[jasper777]

[  :'( :'(/color]Hello anyone out there who wants to talk with me about how to go on without my son and grandkids at this time and how to help the other two children in my care go on with out their daddy who has chosen to be with a BPD ?

[Panda39]

Hi Jasper,

I'm sorry your son has made this choice. Is there any contact with him? This must be so hard for you but even more difficult for his other two children. Has he said why he is making this decision? Has he considered his other children?

Can you expand on your story a little more?

Hang in there 

Panda39

[Wren814]

We are in the same boat and aren't even close to having any understanding.  Our son has been totally brainwashed; it's like he ran away and joined a cult.  They've allowed almost no contact with our grandson over the past 8 months, but of course, it's all our fault because we've been so "hurtful" to dil. When the new baby came last month, ds waited 36 hours to share the news with us, then tried to keep us from coming to see her.  They've since moved halfway across the country to be closer to dil's family, so in some ways it's a relief not having the constant threat of drama, but heartbreaking to know we have grandchildren we can't see or play with.

So do we keep trying to have a relationship, amidst all the BPD control and manipulation used against us?  Or is it better to just let them go and hope one day ds will realize all he's given up?

So glad there's people on here who understand what it is to deal with this.