Learning Validation

[Cole]

We all talk about validation on this site. And I don't know about the rest of you folks, but I struggle with it. Not only is it a difficult to master skill for the type A's, but it is even harder to master at the level needed to be in a relationship with a pwBPD.

So. I have been researching the topic and came across several great sources. This is the best I have seen, and thought I would share:

www.santacruztherapist.net/Articles/Validating%20Feelings.html

Sure would favor some feedback from those who are better than I with this skill.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[jhkbuzz]

I'm not responding because I'm better at it; I'm responding because I've always been a bit confused by it myself.  That article is clear and easy to understand! 

[Cole]

I'm not responding because I'm better at it; I'm responding because I've always been a bit confused by it myself.  That article is clear and easy to understand! 

It is an eye opener. I am a problem solver, very logical and unemotional. Comes from years in law enforcement. W voices how she feels, I automatically try to solve the problem. This does not work out too well.   

BPDw, like most pwBPD, is HIGHLY emotional. Makes communication extremely difficult.

[jhkbuzz]

I'm not responding because I'm better at it; I'm responding because I've always been a bit confused by it myself.  That article is clear and easy to understand! 

It is an eye opener. I am a problem solver, very logical and unemotional. Comes from years in law enforcement. W voices how she feels, I automatically try to solve the problem. This does not work out too well.   



BPDw, like most pwBPD, is HIGHLY emotional. Makes communication extremely difficult.

Yes - I wish I had understood this (and validation) when I was in the r/s. We parted ways nearly a year ago. Good for you for trying to understand and implement good communication skills!