Just found out I was cheated on

[mrstring]

Yesterday I found out I was cheated on by my long time live in girlfriend. In March I found out she was sex messaging with her daughter's boyfriend's brother. She said it was just talk and so since I love her I let it go after a day or so.

She locks her phone and is on disability so she is home all day. A few times she went out without  telling me where she was going. One time at 130 in the morning.

Recently she has been accusing me very strongly of cheating at work and the with cheating with her sister! I have never cheated and being an anonymous person on a message board you just have my word. I looked online alot more about false accusations. One reason is that they are cheating. So I check the phone text message records and see she received texts from a mutual friend of ours who I know had the hots for her. So I nicely  asked what he said. The text basically said he was mad because  she told her mom about his drug use and he threatened to tell me about her and the sexting partner. Which led to believe was more to it than she had said. I asked her nicely, because I don't want her to feel bad, why he would know about the sexting partner. She became angry and accused me of snooping. No remorse at all. She wanted me earlier to take a lie detector  test to show that I slept with her sister. I said I was hurt but I would do it. When I tried to find a good one she got mad and said she'll find one.

Anyhow I can't even feel hurt and am now on the defensive. I don't feel like telling anyone I know because  of how they'll view her.

Help.

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[Ceruleanblue]

I'm so sorry you are hurting. Did she confess to cheating, or are you just suspicious? It sounds as if she has trust issues, if you haven't been cheating yet she keeps accusing you of it. I'd worry less about proving my own innocence to her, than about the fact that she may be cheating. My biggest worry outside the actual infidelity(which may be a deal breaker for you), would be getting tested for STDs.

Do you also have reason to believe she may have BPD?

[mrstring]

I didn't think she was until I looked up relationship help and signs kept pointing me in that direction.

Fits of anger

Blaming

Deflection of any criticism

Yelling at me telling me I've ruined her life

Happy one minute then later that day brings up something that happened 10 years ago as if it was yesterday