I am curious where he is living?
He has said he wants a divorce?
If I were you, I would look into what the requirements are for him to be here on his own, without being sent back to Haiti.
Either he has a plan, or he is reacting from impulse.
If he looks like he thinks he can hold out on you, divorce, and stay in the US anyway, then I would keep an eye on timelines associated with that. Because setting you up as a domestic abuser and making a paper trail may allow him to appeal to stay on asylum.
Beyond that, hugs to you, this empty air where they are supposed to be in your life can be hard to cope with when you don't know when it will end.
I don't know where he's living.
He has said he wants a divorce, but as far as I know, has made no attempt to file. He might be in contact with a lawyer, but that is uncertain. He also tells everyone how much he loves me but that he "cant be with" me... .and his reason? He's too proud to admit he's wrong. Seriously, he said that. When his friends push him and say that he needs to do the right thing and work it out with me, he just stops talking to them. But he un-blocked me on Facebook a while back, and he's made other efforts to remain in my life. He has also had some cordial conversation with my mother.
His options for staying here without being with me are:
1. Prove that I am abusive or "excessively cruel" to him. This cannot be done. I am verifiably patient and kind to him and have an excellent reputation for being level-headed and dealing well in conflict.
2. Prove that he has made a real effort to make the relationship work. This is also not possible at this point. He scheduled ONE counseling session which he expected me to miss (he purposefully told me about 30 minutes before hand where it would be, and I had to quickly reschedule my day to make it fit). He spoke over the counselor the entire time and didn't let me speak except when she made him stop 10 minutes before the session was over... .and he "patiently" waited for me to say 2 sentences and took over again until she ended the session. He confessed to her that he gets angry and cannot control his physical responses because it's like "something takes over my mind." This is the one and only session he completed (as far as I know) but I've been back to that therapist alone, and I've also had sessions with the Haitian pastor and his wife to help me see some of the cultural issues, and I'm working with another therapist on this. Since he started acting this way one month after arriving in the US, it looks exceedingly bad for him.
He reacted (past tense) from impulse and now has a problem coming back. He burned some bridges almost beyond repair (cutting off relationship with his friends and family and even with some of my family, and saying a lot of crazy things). Now because of his self-confessed pride, it's nearly impossible for him to admit he was wrong. He feels incredible shame for having the police called on him, which is why he changed the story to saying I beat him (but he already admitted to several people to having hit me, and there was a witness, and I had physical injuries when the police came). So his shame makes it necessary for him to blame someone or something else. I think he is in such shock at the way he acted, that he is afraid he'll get there again. I actually believe that he thinks he is saving me from him by leaving me. He keeps saying, "you can find another man and be happy."
There is absolutely no paper trail that sets me up as an abuser. The problem he is going to come up against is his honesty. His stories are greatly varied, and that is going to be clear to anyone who interviews him. He honestly has zero chance (at this point) of being awarded permanent residence if he divorces me.
I figure we'll give it a few months and see if things start to resolve themselves. If that does not happen, I'll look for legal council that will evaluate the possibility of sitting down with him. The problem is that he will simply not allow me to speak with him AT ALL. We cannot talk about anything even to the point of speaking about how we can divorce in a way that is beneficial to both of us, because he won't allow a single word. He either starts screaming or he leaves.
If it becomes impossible for me to get a civil meeting with him, then I'll look to the USCIS office and see what my options are concerning the visa. But that's a way down the road.
