Physical exertion seems to be helping?

[isilme]

So after this weekend's last blow up, we've made progress with part of the yard project he wanted to work on.  Turns out my estimate of supplies was spot on (ha - petty, sorry, refrained as always from saying so last night), and overall since working Sunday night and last night on this, he seems to be in a better frame of mind - he was even doing his assigned task of looking up 4 songs our wedding planner asked us to bring next spring to the ceremony.  He's more the musicphile, and since men often get shoved aside in wedding planning, I want this to be HIS contribution to the planning.  I mean, we've discussed everything from the when, the where, what time, and even the cake offered by the resort we're trying to get to, but I know if he picks the music, he'll know it was something he did for this.  Does that make sense?  Anyway, after threatening to call it off twice in 2 weeks, yesterday he was sending me links to MP3s he was considering.  So, I guess there's something, there.

I am hoping that the physical activity, good for us both overall after several severe bouts of flu, bronchitis and pneumonia over the last few years, is also helping bleed away some of the worry and anxiety that sets in with him.  The only drawback is that it certainly is making us both pretty sore, but I am hoping that will pass if we can keep doing more and get back to not being winded from activity.  He often has nightmares and panic attacks in the night, and again, I am hoping being physically tired will make that less likely.

I am still on pins and needles a bit, and am working harder to show I am actively listening and paying attention instead of having a device or book in my hands (my vice, I know), and to not invalidate, even if I can't always adeptly validate. 

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[takingandsending]

isilme,

MP3's are a step in the right direction! 

I am glad that your communication efforts (and the physical exercise) are helping. You don't need to add stress heading into a wedding. They are already stressful enough.

Keep us updated how things are going. Maybe you could buy a treadmill for him once the yard work is complete.