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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: New babysitter  (Read 374 times)
Eco
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« on: July 15, 2015, 05:56:55 PM »

I met the new babysitter today, this woman will be watching my daughter and my exs other 2 kids age 10,4. I got a super weird vibe from her when I met her, my gut screams that that something isn't right about this person.

I have been thinking and going over my feelings of other factors that may have influenced the alarms in my head. MY daughter had a very confused look on her face and was looking at me like "get me out of here".

That could have sparked those feelings, seeing my daughter distressed may have made me overprotective. the baby sitter could have been acting weird around me because she is new with my daughter and is nervous about the job working out. also who knows what my ex said about me to her.

I just cant shake that awful feeling I got from that babysitter, my ex said she checked her references. I don't trust my exs judgment because if the price was right she would let Charles Manson watch her kids. 
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livednlearned
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Relationship status: Married
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« Reply #1 on: July 15, 2015, 08:16:07 PM »

Can you run your own background check on the babysitter?
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Eco
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« Reply #2 on: July 15, 2015, 10:37:22 PM »

Excerpt
Can you run your own background check on the babysitter?

Its going to cause a big stink with my ex because I will be going over her head in her eyes, Im going to try and get the babysitters last name and run a background check. If my ex gets mad oh well, im going to file for primary in the next few weeks so its about to hit the fan anyways.  My ex has moved my daughter to a different babysitter 3 times in the past month and its got my daughter all confused
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livednlearned
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« Reply #3 on: July 16, 2015, 07:38:52 AM »

My ex has moved my daughter to a different babysitter 3 times in the past month and its got my daughter all confused

So this babysitter might not last?
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Eco
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Gender: Male
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 540



« Reply #4 on: July 16, 2015, 01:02:49 PM »

Excerpt
So this babysitter might not last?

It depends on how well my ex can control her, if this babysitter doesn't follow my exs rules and cant handle being micro managed and talked to like a servant then no she wont last. Especially now that she is in my exs house watching the kids, that magnifies all the abuse.

The daycare was the best place because they enforced boundaries with my ex and didn't get bullied by her. This kept my ex in check and kept her from going to far with her abusive ways, if left unchecked my ex will go way to far with abuse and run people off. 
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