I am glad that you found us. I didn't know how to handle things either. This site has been a big part of my support system. My life and relationship with my wife is so much better. I have hope for the future.
Please look over the lessons
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=56206I don't know enough about your story yet to point you to a particular one... .but skim them... .post about things that catch your eye.
I'm not sure how to handle things.
Here is the good news. There is an "order to the disorder". Understanding that gives you the power to get your life and your relationship back to a better place.
Do you want to get to a better place?
Looking forward to seeing future posts from you. Please take one recent incident that really bothered you... .and try to tell the story here. We'll start from there on your journey to a healthier place.
Last: Do either of you attend therapy?
FF