What to expect from my Mother-in-law

[PKay08]

Hello, thank you for having this helpful site. Just to let you know, I am in a married relationship with a BPD who is aware of it. He has improved so much since we met, and we are getting along pretty well. But what I want to talk to you guys is about his mom. My mother-in-law. At the moment, me and our two beautiful little girls have to live in her house until my husband finds us a place to live. She has a boyfriend who pays all the bills, buys everything she and he needs. And is the provider of everything. So it's his house. Since they let us move in to their house until we get a place to help us out, I give them as much respect, affection, and support I can. One day, she got pissed off at me, and has been ever since. That was only a few days ago. I do not really know what passive aggressive people will do to other people other than making them feel bad and getting more angrier at them without expressing it. But I am wondering one thing at the moment, that I think she might have done to me. I do laundry every single day, and keep the house decently clean, most of the time. When I do laundry, I go through every piece of clothing to make sure nothing's in it before I put it in the washer. Tonight when I put my kids to bed, and went to put my wet clothes into the dryer, there was stuff all of them and it made a huge mess in my clothes and her washer. Found out it was two soiled diapers in the washer that went through the process with them.

With passive aggressive people who are pissed off at you do something like that do you to make it harder on you or make you think you did that? Please respond.

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[waverider]

It must be tough indeed living with the MIL.

Do you suspect that the BPD is hereditary? That is the kind of thing a pwBPD  could do, even though it is obvious, then deny it. Whether a deliberate attempt or not it does leave you questioning your own reality at times.

Does she at times seem overly nice, and other times a complete opposite?

[formflier]

   

Hang in there... .

What role will you play in finding a place to live?

Glad you found this forum... .looking forward to getting to know you.

FF

[JustDucky]

The person in my life who is BPD is my MIL.  Would she do something vindictive if mad at someone?  Yes, absolutely.  I've had several people who are unrelated to each other who have been the victim of her vindictiveness tell me the things she's done, and I know that as far as her relationship with me is concerned, she wants nothing more than to get back at me for the things she thinks I've "done" to her. 

[formflier]

and I know that as far as her relationship with me is concerned, she wants nothing more than to get back at me for the things she thinks I've "done" to her. 

How would your r/s with her change if you changed this view to "sometimes" she wants to get back at you and "sometimes" she actually likes you?

The nature of BPD in most people is that their view of people around them depends on their emotions... at that moment.

FF