Memory

[Butterfly12]

Last night my husband came to the house to pick up our daughter (who was going to spend the night with him.) He brought his mother, of course. He sat down in the living room and played with our oldest and youngest for a bit, and seemed to be a pretty good mood. He was laughing and joking with the kids, and I was there... .being "hospitable." I made a few ironic comments, joking along, being silly.

He turned and looked at me deadpan.

And then when I made some minor joke about our daughter's love of certain food he also enjoys, like: "We know where that comes from!" He got all offended. Like how could I know something so personal about him. I used to be the one to grocery shop. ALLLLLL the time. I know what he eats.

And then. I had been going through kids clothes and had found a box with a few items of his in it that was his before our marriage. I showed them to the kids, and then when he arrived, showed him. One a good friend had given him and it had sat on our window sill in our kitchen for years. Like SIX years.

When he saw it, yesterday, he said, "That's not mine." And I said... .yes... .it is... .and told him the story of it. He then go this look on his face So offended I know about his life.

He hates that I know him. He hates that I have an insider perspective. He wants to be mysterious. I don't know how to give him what he wants... .but I tell him time and time again I am open to our lives changing and don't hold expectations of people that they are a certain way. Everyone desserves the freedom to be someone they want to be. But things like past belongings and favourite foods don't change. They just are. What do I do to make my knowledge less offensive?

And have others experienced this?

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[waverider]

There may be things about him that he doesn't want you to know, and so subconsciously wants to block everything. When you bring something up it makes him feel vulnerable... .maybe? All or nothing thinking