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Author Topic: It's his Birthday and the Bomb is going off like clockwork  (Read 368 times)
Cloudy Days
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 1095



« on: July 16, 2015, 09:39:45 AM »

My husband's 40th is coming up this weekend and he has basically been stressing out about it for a month now. The closer it gets, the meaner and more moody he gets. He keeps trying to do all these projects, one of them today the guy keeps not showing up to get them done. Canceled yesterday and is going to be late today. I understand why he's mad, but telling the guy to forget it, just hurts us. We want this stuff done! We had a small get together planned for Saturday and he has called it off twice, he wants me to call it off again because of this crap. And this is something he suggested, because I would never push him to do it. The people invited pretty much know him well enough that I can be honest about what is going on. But this is just exhausting. 

I have been struggling with some of his remarks he says to me. How do you put a boundary down when someone isn't raging really. My husband will playfully call me things or say things that really bother me. I have asked him to stop but he keeps doing it. For instance he will tell me to go do something and then call me Tella afterwards (which is short for Tellatubby) Something that really pisses me off. Every time he calls me it I tell him not to call me it. He has been better than before but he's not 100% better. Especially after today I can really see it. He just kept texting me curse words, not necessarily directed towards me, more like venting. I don't respond back to 90% of them. I can't wait till next Monday so his birthday will be over, but then he will probably be depressed. 
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This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

Daniell85
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 737


« Reply #1 on: July 16, 2015, 10:41:22 AM »

Since his birthday is stressing him out and he keeps calling off the get together, maybe suggest to him that just him and you do something on Saturday to celebrate, if he is up for it when Saturday comes.

Pressure off, still out there is something special for him on his birthday and now maybe he will chill out...
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Cloudy Days
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Gender: Female
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 1095



« Reply #2 on: July 16, 2015, 11:52:39 AM »

I have suggested this, he is actually the one that set all of this up. It's not really the party that is stressing him out because it's only 4 people, his mom, my mom and his cousin and her husband. The electrician guy has stood him up 4 times now. That is enough to make a non BPD irritated. He just claims that his birthday is ruined because of it. His Birthday isn't even till Sunday. It goes from have everyone over, to have a few people over, to I'm doing nothing but sleeping on my birthday F everyone!
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