My First Post

[TangledUpWithBPD]

I am finally reaching out after 33 years of marriage!  After spending this amount of time living with someone who, for the most part, has had one of the most frustrating time with living life happy and secure.

Our time together has been like a giant roller coaster of emotions and as I have been trying to determine how to help him, I have discovered BPD... .everything that has been described by this condition has fit our life to a tee.  He has been to numerous counselors only to be told that he has Anxiety, Depression or PTSD and placed on medication but nothing seems to help him  :'(

I constantly go to counseling because I need a "reality check" to make sure I am balancing my own emotions and thoughts since I get so much anger thrown at me since my husband let's me know that "I am such a lousy wife"!

When things are good, our life is wonderful and we are working together to make our home happy... .but I am always waiting for the next shoe to drop.

I know this is just a glimpse of me and my life, but I needed to start reaching out to others who understand this life.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[ColdEthyl]

Hello and welcome! 


Yep, we get it. All of us here know that feeling very well, and it's very confusing, draining, and makes you wonder if it's YOU after all. It's not. There are things we can do!

The very first thing is learning to communicate better with our pw/BPD. That in itself is a big first step. The lesson to the right of the screen are a good place to start.

Did you have any current issues or specifics you wanted to talk about or needed guidance on?

[whitebackatcha]

 

Welcome! This is a great board with a great group of very helpful people. I trust you'll fund the support you need here.

[sempervivum]

24 years of marriage and hard work. And awareness it will last forever, but if you keep working on yourself and dont give up therapy, things can change for the better.

I am new here too, but I agree with the "natives" who advise reading the lessons offered here. They are very helpful.

You are not a lousy wife, it is something he wants you to believe with purpose of hiding his lousiness. Sad, but true.

[vortex of confusion]

 

I wanted to join the others in welcoming you to the forums. I only have 17 years under my belt.

This is a great place to help make sense of the confusion and keep yourself in check. Things have greatly improved since I found this place.

I look forward to hearing more of your story.

[strongerthanU]

Tangledup,

Welcome to the boards! There are more of us than you can imagine, that is both fortunate and unfortunate   I have been married for 27 years and joined here just a few months back myself. I have vacillated back and forth from staying and improving to undecided as I have desperately tried to determine the best course for myself and my husband. I used to wait for the other shoe to drop too and I finally just got sick enough of it to take it a step further; I have immersed myself in the articles here, read books and networked with others in addition to the years I have had in counseling and I am hardcore putting the communication skills to practice along with validation tools. my boundaries look different than they did in the past and the BPDH has taken notice. I feel so much better and not so hopeless! Chin up and jump in, live for you and who you are supposed to be, love him but don't cave to his anger and irrational behavior and demands, you deserve the best and I know when things are good they are good! so don't settle for the dark cloud.  you have a whole community tot so this with.