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Author Topic: Anyone else's BPD addicted to therapy?  (Read 428 times)
Ceruleanblue
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« on: July 22, 2015, 04:24:16 PM »

Okay, my subject was sort of a joke, but not totally. I really almost feel like BPDh is addicted, or gets something other than just "help" out of therapy. He was in T when I met him, and I thought that was a good thing. He'd gotten out of a physically abusive, long marriage, after she cheated. He needed to heal, and I was supportive.

Now, four years later, he's in DBT, we attend MC together, and he still sees his original T he saw for four years, but it's now just once a month. So, he's in T twice a week, then he does the monthly, and he also sees his psychiatrist regularly. He's often going to the doctor too. He has a regular doctor, an ear/nose/throat doctor,  and a urologist. My sister in law asked me once if I've ever known anyone to go to the doctor so often, because I guess her husband(BPD's brother) goes to the doctor a lot too. BPDh is very healthy, mind you!

Is this an attention thing, perhaps? I really feel all previous therapy was just a big vent session, and the only T I see him benefitting from is DBT.

Is this related to the BPD, or just a quirk of his? I really don't love going to the doctor, so really don't quite get it.
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SurfNTurf
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« Reply #1 on: July 22, 2015, 04:39:26 PM »

Hi Blue,

I'm an RN, so I think oftentimes patients frequently see their providers b/c the providers say "I need to see you back in x-months." Laypeople seldom realize they can say, "But I'm doing so well, do you think we can stretch that out to z-months?" And depending on the age and diagnoses of your husband, it isn't uncommon to frequently see a urologist.

The mental health providers/counseling and such: The big question here is - is it helping? Because if you see improvements in his behavior, that's a big plus. I wish my husband would go at all, let alone often! 

Are you seeing a T? And doing things to take care of you?
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formflier
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« Reply #2 on: July 22, 2015, 05:55:50 PM »

 

Hehe... .that kinda sounds like me.

My dad was always one to go to dr like clockwork... .and any issues that come up get run to the ground pretty quickly.

So... I picked that up from my FOO.  Pilots get frequent checkups... .and then with me getting settled into care with the VA... .and some fairly serious service connected disabilities... .well... there are lots of visits and checks over there.

My advice... .count yourself lucky that he goes... .to Ts and to drs. 

FF
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vortex of confusion
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« Reply #3 on: July 22, 2015, 08:02:50 PM »

I don't think this is necessarily a BPD thing. I know of lots of people that go to the doctor for anything and everything. And then there are people that try to avoid the doctor at all costs. If his brother does it too, then it is possibly a family trait.

As for feeling lucky that he goes. . .  

My husband doesn't have a lot of doctors but I do sometimes get annoyed with some of the scheduling and the fact that he wants to come home from the doctor, 12 step meeting, or therapist and go over it all with me. Yeah, I should be happy that my husband does this stuff. Sometimes I am very happy and very grateful that he is attending his meetings and making an effort. Other times, I can't help but think, "Oh great, one more friggin' reason for him to get attention. He is the one being a jerk yet he gets all of the attention and help and I get ignored. It is just one more way for him to make everything all about him."

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Ceruleanblue
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« Reply #4 on: July 23, 2015, 01:22:50 AM »

Exactly! I really do feel this is yet another way it's all about him. I guess this is why it has the gross factor to me. I'm glad he'll go to the doctor, and I have a Dad who hates going, but geesh, it's all the time.

Plus, any medical issues I have are easily ignored or discounted by him. He insisted I take our second motorcycle lesson course when I'd been having extremely high blood pressure and dizziness. I asked him if we could only stay a couple hours, he agreed, then of course did what he wanted, staying the entire time and testing. I was feeling too awful to test, and ended up sitting feeling sick and hurt. I ended up in the ER that night and my blood pressure was dangerously high. They got it lowered slightly, and I'm now on two meds, but it's still running high. I also have a SVT, where my heart races sometimes(luckily not often anymore), but I have been having major, major palpitations, or something... .he's all but ignored this.

He's just selfish, and he seems to want attention. Lots of it. He needs so much stimulation. He's sort of exhausting. I am glad that he does his DBT therapy, which does seem to have helped, but I can't say the other two therapies have helped him at all. I've done therapy off/on as needed, and I probably need to get back in.

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Surg_Bear
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« Reply #5 on: July 24, 2015, 09:25:16 AM »

Let me chime in here for a minute... .

I am a doctor.  I see patients who are non's and those who are disordered.

I clearly have some red beacon that flashes over my head that attracts the crazy ones.  I am a magnet for these people. My partners in the same specialty, in the same office, where the triaging of referrals is supposed to be random, do not see the amount of crazy in their practices, as I do mine.

Even though I am not a mental health professional, the crazies come to me like a moth to a flame, or something.

Anyway, YES:

The crazy ones are the ones who see a provider the most.  They bask in the attention they receive.  Like being poolside in a Hawaiian resort, they drag the 15 to 30 minute appointments out to 45 or 60 minutes with their inane questions.

I can tell a person is disordered if I open their chart in the electronic medical record and see a list of more than 5 drug allergies, or more than 10 encounters in the last month.

I usually have a sense that a person has a disorder within the first 60 seconds of the interaction.

Yes, people can get addicted to the positive, and always polite / nonjudgmental interactions from health care providers.  I'm sure it makes the same neurotransmitters release in the brain as cocaine, nicotine or heroin.

Surg_Bear
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Ceruleanblue
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« Reply #6 on: July 24, 2015, 12:59:56 PM »

Yes, I think that is it. He likes the attention. He was in T for four years with his T, and his psychiatrist told him he might want to find another T, and actually recommended DBT therapy for him. He couldn't quite give up his original T, though. Of course not, he feels attached to her. She doesn't push him, doesn't truly get through to him, and it's his version of "beer with the guys", except it's ALL about him. So, he still sees this same T, but now once a month.

I do think it's good to go to the doctor as needed, but I think what he's doing IS beyond that. I had an aunt who is a very stable, good person, but she was also like a crazy magnet. They find her, and would want to be friends with her. I don't know why that is the case with some people, but it just seems to be.

And yes, I think because BPDh loves going because he knows seeing the doctor will be a positive, totally focused on HIM, experience. Right up his alley.
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