9 months post breakup

[BrokenFamily]

After almost 4 happy yet stressful years together my BPD ex painted me black, cheated, started a fight just to dump me and replaced me all in the same week. After reading so much about BPD from this site and several others, I've learned this is typical behavior but it's still very difficult to deal with and confusing. First off how and why paint me black? I'm a great father to our 2 year old daughter, I provided for them both and always put their needs first, I'm a paramedic that saves lives for a living and she has witnessed me being a kind friend neighbor and person to everyone I encounter for the past 4 years! How can she create a reality where I'm the bad guy when she cheated, she wasn't taking care of our child and she's the one who is constantly getting into explosive arguments with everyone she encounters? I also don't understand the idolization / devaluation thing which makes no sense. I'm a hard worker, in very good shape and I'm independent while my replacement lives with his mother has no car and has been out of work more other than not. It's been months of push pull she's nice when the replacement isn't aroundbor she wants something but I'm devaluated when he is, as if she's showing off for him which is a joke because honestly the guy is a fat bumb. We've been getting along and been civil for weeks; she's even slipped up and said she loves me, gives me genuine hugs and even let me give her a very intimate back rub a week ago. Unfortunately the only time we disagree is when it's time for her to watch our daughter, I only ask her help while I'm working, I even pay her to do so and because I'm able to work 24 and 48 hour shifts it's only a few days a week I need her. Everytime she's upset she has to go to her moms because she's living with my replacement off his mother, they stay up all night playing video games and aren't on the same sleep schedule as my daughter. It's bad enough my daughter refuses to sleep alone now and I'm just supposed to except she's sleeping in bed with my ex and the loser replacement? I work &, take care of my daughter nothing else and have no time to do anything else especially a relationship, I take her to all her doctors appointments put a roof over her head, feed her , buy her clothes and everything else she needs even pay her own mother to watch her and I'm constantly being threatened with being taken to court , having my daughter taken away and having to pay child support for a child I already support. This is beyond ridiculous!

[Jeansok]

I can so relate with you. My soon to be X husband:

Long story short my X husband left me (in an email March 6th) saying he was filing for divorce and moved out. In his email he said he wanted to work this out amicably and then a week later tried filing for full custody of our now 3 year son with crazy allegations against me and wanted me to have supervised visitation. The judge did not order this however and we currently have split custody. Now he's filing to have my wages garnished for child support (mind you right before he left he hadn't had a job for 4 months and just got one that pays half of what he could be making) no doubt he had been planning this for a few months. I believe he left because I started standing up for myself and would no longer take the abuse. And then I thought HE HAS the nerve to leave ME after the hell I put up with. Mind you it is a blessing in disguise but now I'm dealing with having to coparent with a psychopath and someone that will not communicate with me. The only thing that makes sense of all of it is the fact our whole relationship was a lie and researching narcissism fits my x to a T. He did not show signs of this behavior until after we were married. I don't know how this is going to work trying to do split custody and he's an excellent manipulator and hides his behavior very well. We have a GAL envolved and has him fooled ... .Any advise anyone can give me I'd very much appreciate