Introduction

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Hi

My ex and I have been separated for 6 months following six months of hell which has impacted my children as well as me.  I called an end to the relationship after months of marriage guidance counselling. I moved out and am now in a custody battle for our two children. My ex's behaviour fits virtually every description of BPD I have read.  Despite lots of good counselling and moving on within myself I continue to experience a great deal of pain from my ex's behaviour becasue it is hurting my children and she is using them to hurt me.  I feel as though I move from one no-win situation to another.  I have faith that I will overcome in time and my kids will be fine, but would like to know how to help minimise the harm building on others' experiences.

[Wombat15]

Hi

My ex and I have been separated for 6 months following six months of hell which has impacted my children as well as me.  I called an end to the relationship after months of marriage guidance counselling. I moved out and am now in a custody battle for our two children. My ex's behaviour fits virtually every description of BPD I have read.  Despite lots of good counselling and moving on within myself I continue to experience a great deal of pain from my ex's behaviour becasue it is hurting my children and she is using them to hurt me.  I feel as though I move from one no-win situation to another.  I have faith that I will overcome in time and my kids will be fine, but would like to know how to help minimise the harm building on others' experiences.

[Turkish]

Hi Wombat15,

I'm sorry that you are going through this, but I'm glad you found your way here.

How contentious is the custody battle? How old are your kids, and do you get to see them? Divorce, by definition, is adverserial, even f both parties are low conflict. Adding kids in is a whole other level. You may want to post your specific legal issues to the legal board, where senior members can help guide you through this.

As for how this is affecting the kids and how you can help both them and yourself, we are here for you. What's going on where she is using the children to hurt you?

Turkish