Hey johnny, It's OK if you decide to recycle. Many of us (read: me) have done it many times. I guess I'm a slow learner. I'm an overachiever and always think I can solve every problem, but BPD proved too complex foe me. Like you, I ignored my gut feelings.
Why dont I listen to my own gut?
The reason you don't listen to your gut, I suggest, is because your gut is telling you that something is definitely wrong with this r/s with a pwBPD, yet you aren't ready to acknowledge that, so you convince yourself that things are OK when they are not. I've been there, my friend.
It's a dangerous path you are following, in my view, so tread carefully and try to figure out what is right for you. I got lost in the BPD Woods and it wasn't fun, believe me.
LuckyJim
Thanks Lucky Jim... .
Its over - its done.
Last night was the clincher... .
This morning she texted me to return her stuff...
I already had it gathered and dropped it off within that hour.
She continued to text... .so I did not read them, I deleted them.
Then I resorted to blocking her #.
Im not a fan of the push and pull thing...
Or to have the 'Emotional Furniture" of my mind rearranged or abused.
Lastly, I simply couldn't trust her anymore. Her words became just that... .words.
Because too many times her actions and her words were giving me a double message... .
And I dont need to swim in the deep end of uncertainty and confusion.
