My husband is giving me silent treatment

[Depression = 72% of members]

My husband is giving me the silent treatment again, it's been 3 days.  He is away working, our boys and I were going to see him, then I mentioned next week when I take our 14 year old to camp in the city I would stay with my older son and visit one night, my husband will be working in the city next week as well, I said I'll stay with our oldest son ( my son) mon night, then our other two boys and I would go stay with him at his parents the rest of the week, he freaked, said you can't all stay with me mon night? I said our oldest would feel more comfortable at my parents apartment, and it's only one night , he hung up on me, then 20 min later sent a text saying " don't bother coming to see me this week, I am busy and don't have time for you" I replied we really want to see you, he said your full of s-it, said I stay at home with the boys and don't know what sacrifice is ( he is missing our sons bd) I didn't reply, I leave for the city Sunday, meeting my older son monday, my husband will be home Sunday then going to city as well.  I don't know if I should stay at the apartment with my older son or visit my older son and stay with my husband? I would be with my husband the rest of the week in the city, but i don't want to give in, I don't know if he is justified being mad or just being a bully? He works away a lot, I am always home when he gets home, even if my parents invite me to their place ( 6 hours away) for weekend visits, I stay home if my husband is coming home, always change my schedule, and I was going to see him this week for few days with our boys and he said don't come I don't want to see you.  I hate this silent treatment, and two days I had headache and sick stomach.

[Brasty]

My husband is giving me the silent treatment again, it's been 3 days.  He is away working, our boys and I were going to see him, then I mentioned next week when I take our 14 year old to camp in the city I would stay with my older son and visit one night, my husband will be working in the city next week as well, I said I'll stay with our oldest son ( my son) mon night, then our other two boys and I would go stay with him at his parents the rest of the week, he freaked, said you can't all stay with me mon night? I said our oldest would feel more comfortable at my parents apartment, and it's only one night , he hung up on me, then 20 min later sent a text saying " don't bother coming to see me this week, I am busy and don't have time for you" I replied we really want to see you, he said your full of s-it, said I stay at home with the boys and don't know what sacrifice is ( he is missing our sons bd) I didn't reply, I leave for the city Sunday, meeting my older son monday, my husband will be home Sunday then going to city as well.  I don't know if I should stay at the apartment with my older son or visit my older son and stay with my husband? I would be with my husband the rest of the week in the city, but i don't want to give in, I don't know if he is justified being mad or just being a bully? He works away a lot, I am always home when he gets home, even if my parents invite me to their place ( 6 hours away) for weekend visits, I stay home if my husband is coming home, always change my schedule, and I was going to see him this week for few days with our boys and he said don't come I don't want to see you.  I hate this silent treatment, and two days I had headache and sick stomach.

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[an0ught]

Hi Brasty,

silent treatment sucks as it leave you feeling powerless  .

Coordinating schedules and taking care of all the whims of a pwBPD is impossible. You are trying hard to please him but will never satisfy his needs to be treated special. Learning how to balance his needs with your needs - which are to be taken equally serious - takes times. The board is a good place to discuss.

I don't know if he is justified being mad or just being a bully?

None of the above. He is a toddler throwing a tantrum.

,

a0