Did he stay in therapy and/or quit?

[valueachild]

Did your BPD partner promise to go to therapy and/or DID they stay in therapy? Were you their only motivation? Were you ever separated and did you reconcile after they promised to go to therapy? Do you regret your decision? Any advise on approaching an ex after realizing they have BPD and finding out if they got help and/or willing to talk?    My exBPD and I are in our early 50s and for 6 years we had a wonderful r/s. I would say he is low-med. degree of BPD.  He initially was terrified about me breaking up and wanted to get help together.  He would say... I was half the problem.  He couldn't get help for his drinking binges and the drinking is what scared me the most eventhough it was only binging 3-4x a year. Given our age... I don't want to be his mother or carry the burden of having to modulate my behavior for him and/or get caught in the cross-fire the next time he gets drunk and strangles me!  After 5 mo. NC I'm dying to talk to him... .I'm just terrified as to how to go about it even though we have property to exchange.   

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[formflier]

I'm just terrified as to how to go about it even though we have property to exchange.   

I think we can help you feel better about this by helping you through some lessons... .working through some "what if" scenarios.

Can you talk to us a bit about how the NC got started... .?

FF